I want to wish my angel in heaven a happy 18th birthday today. I always imagine what you would be like. What your hair would look like. How close you and your siblings would be. What kind of relationship we would have.
I was so young when I got pregnant but losing you was the most devastating thing a 19 year could go through. The hope that I had that you would overcome all odds and make it was tremendous. My faith was and is very strong and that is what got me through that time. I know that God had something better for you and I try not to be jealous that he gets to see each day because I know that one day, I will get to see you each day too.
Being a parent is one of the hardest and selfless thing I have ever had to do. It brings me great joy to be a mother but with that joy also comes a fear. Fear that you get hurt. Fear that something will happen to you. Fear that you will leave. Fear that that I will lose you. It is obvious. With great love, there is great fear of losing that love.
I love you my dear Bianca. You will forever be my babygirl. You will forever be in my heart.
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