This is for you Diana.
My friend, Diana, asked a question a while back on her FB wall. Although I tried to answer from my phone I knew that it would be too long for my phone or FB. The thought had not crossed my mind again until today.
So let's start with the question. Diana is getting married this year and the question was something about a couple that has withstood the test of marriage and time and that you most admire or look up to...something to that effect. Sorry for not remembering the exact question Diana.
Sometimes I really have to ponder on questions but this is not one of those questions. This was an easy one for me. My godparents. You are all probably tired of hearing about my godparents but they were and continue to be the most influential people in my life. They are the kind of people that I want to be. They are the couple that I model my relationship with Jose after. They knew what it took to make a marriage work, really work. They had their struggles like everyone else but you hardly ever knew it. And it certainly wasn't because they went around saying it. They were private people when it came to their problems and they solved them together. Having spend many a summers with them in their home, I got to see some of their struggles. But what was more touching and more overwhelming was the LOVE that I witnessed in their home. You could just feel the love. It was present in their actions and their words...even when they were mad at each other. There was a level of respect that is hard to find in todays world. It was a love that can only be described as true love.
They only had one child but their house was always full of children. They both came from large families and family was a very important factor for both of them. Family was more than just blood to them. Family was a feeling that brought and kept people together. Each day in that house was filled with laughter. My godmother was always singing (she was not a good singer by any means but she enjoyed herself so much and that made everyone with her enjoy themselves too) and my godfather always had something funny to say (sometimes I thought that he had wanted to be a comdian). There was a light heartedness about them that just made you want to be around them. Their house always had something in the oven cooking and always enough to offer to anyone who happened to stop by. They were constantly talking to each other...about anything and everything. Communication was the one thing that never lacked in the home. And although they enjoyed doing many things together, they also had their own hobbies that they made time for and their own personal time. They knew the secrets to making a marriage last, the secrets that many people never learn.
My godfather passed away when I was 16. He went home to die in Nov and he lasted two months before his death on January 26th. During those two months, my godmother was by his side 24 hours a day making sure that he was taken care of in every way possible during his last days. After he passed, not one day passed that she didn't talk about him and smile but she was never the same. She has this sadness about her that was clearly because she missed her one true love. My godmother has since passed as well. I believe that she is where she belongs now...back with my godfather. I know that their love affair continues on forever.
Jose and I are not married but I know that we will be someday. I work hard to make our relationship just as strong and just as wonderful as my godparents. I hope that someday, somebody can look back on us and have us be inspirational to them. I am so blessed to have had them in my life. Blessed to have witnessed such a beautiful thing. Blessed to have such an example to follow.
So Diana, I hope that answers your question. Marriage is not easy. It's just the beginning of the rest of your life together. Who would have thought that the beginning would be after 10 years...lol. I just had to add some humor but it's true. Marriage is not easy. It's hard work and requires a lot of energy and a lot of patience. You and Mike have proven that you have what it takes to make it work. You have established a life together already that many couples only dream of. You guys have a beautiful home and two handsome boys. You have endured hard times and happy times. You have each other. Congrats again and I can't wait to see you walk down that isle.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Words to Live By
There are 4 things that can never be recovered:
1. The stone…….after the throw.
2. The word……..after it's said.
3. The occasion……..after it's missed.
4. The time………after it's gone.
Today, right now, take a moment to say I love you and I appreciate you to the people who've made a difference in your life. You never know when you'll have the opportunity to do it again.
1. The stone…….after the throw.
2. The word……..after it's said.
3. The occasion……..after it's missed.
4. The time………after it's gone.
Today, right now, take a moment to say I love you and I appreciate you to the people who've made a difference in your life. You never know when you'll have the opportunity to do it again.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Are you happy with what you have?
One of the things that I am trying hard to work on this year is to be happy with what I have. I can't believe how much harder this is than I thought. I mean, it's easy to say and the concept is simple but society has brought us up differently.
The grass is always greener on the other side ! Or is it? I mean it's all about perspective. The grass might seem greener but can you see the entire lawn? Can you see the hours of work that it takes to keep it green? Can you imagine the amout of money that it takes to keep it green? If it is indeed greener, than maybe it's because of what that person is doing to it to make it greener. Maybe if you put as much time and money into your grass, it could be just as green. Wow ! That was a lot of writing about nothing...lol. But it's really not nothing. Here is my point.
We had the bigger house. A really large house in my opinion. It was beautiful and grande when we saw it. It was like nothing we could afford back in RI. We lived in that house for two years. For two years I continued to buy furniture and curtains and accessories to try to make the house feel like a home and it just didn't. It was just too much room to fill and it just felt too cold. For two years we paid to heat and cool that LARGE house. So the bills were a bit LARGE too...obviously ! Now we find ourselves in a much smaller house. Maybe it was too big of a jump but it does seem to soot us fine. But I find myself wishing for a garage again, for a second bathroom, for a spare room. I find myself missing my big walk in closet and gigantic bathroom. I don't miss cleaning that house though...lol. So knowing what I know now, why do I do this to myself? I do it because I look around me and it's all I see. I see people getting rid of what they have to get something bigger, something better, something more expensive. Houses, cars, tv, game systems, phones, toys...you name it, there is something bigger and better that we strive for. People even change spouses for something they think is better, younger, wealthier only to find out that it just a different set of problems. Why? Why can't we just be happy with what we have? We are in a disposable society. I know that I am not saying anything new. I am not saying anything that you haven't heard before. Why can't we spend more time and energy on the things that matter most, like spending time with your family? Why can't we enjoy the simple things in life like playing board games and playing cards?
I want to stop and enjoy these things. I want to spend more time with my kids while they still want to spend time with me. I want to fingerpaint and fly kites and play catch outside. I want to try to work with what I have first before going out and buying something new. I want to try to settle with what have and take pride in that instead of looking for something more.
The grass is always greener on the other side ! Or is it? I mean it's all about perspective. The grass might seem greener but can you see the entire lawn? Can you see the hours of work that it takes to keep it green? Can you imagine the amout of money that it takes to keep it green? If it is indeed greener, than maybe it's because of what that person is doing to it to make it greener. Maybe if you put as much time and money into your grass, it could be just as green. Wow ! That was a lot of writing about nothing...lol. But it's really not nothing. Here is my point.
We had the bigger house. A really large house in my opinion. It was beautiful and grande when we saw it. It was like nothing we could afford back in RI. We lived in that house for two years. For two years I continued to buy furniture and curtains and accessories to try to make the house feel like a home and it just didn't. It was just too much room to fill and it just felt too cold. For two years we paid to heat and cool that LARGE house. So the bills were a bit LARGE too...obviously ! Now we find ourselves in a much smaller house. Maybe it was too big of a jump but it does seem to soot us fine. But I find myself wishing for a garage again, for a second bathroom, for a spare room. I find myself missing my big walk in closet and gigantic bathroom. I don't miss cleaning that house though...lol. So knowing what I know now, why do I do this to myself? I do it because I look around me and it's all I see. I see people getting rid of what they have to get something bigger, something better, something more expensive. Houses, cars, tv, game systems, phones, toys...you name it, there is something bigger and better that we strive for. People even change spouses for something they think is better, younger, wealthier only to find out that it just a different set of problems. Why? Why can't we just be happy with what we have? We are in a disposable society. I know that I am not saying anything new. I am not saying anything that you haven't heard before. Why can't we spend more time and energy on the things that matter most, like spending time with your family? Why can't we enjoy the simple things in life like playing board games and playing cards?
I want to stop and enjoy these things. I want to spend more time with my kids while they still want to spend time with me. I want to fingerpaint and fly kites and play catch outside. I want to try to work with what I have first before going out and buying something new. I want to try to settle with what have and take pride in that instead of looking for something more.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Happy Birthday Mom
Today is my mother's birthday. What is there really to say? I mean, I wish her the very best whatever she is doing. I hope that she is happy because that is all that I have ever wanted for her. I am not going to call her, actually I don't even have her number. I sent her an ecard to my brother's email address from the kids...her grandkids.
I am tired of playing games with her. I am tired of trying to make things right when I am the only one trying. I pray that she has a wonderful birthday filled with everything that her heart desires. I pray that she is happy with the decision that she made walking out and never looking back. I pray for her happiness which is more than I know she does for me. So before this topic goes in the wrong directions, let me just end it here. Sorry to disappoint you Rebecca...lol..but this will not end up being a long dragged out post about my mother. That time has come and gone. Instead I wish her the best and move on with my life.
I am tired of playing games with her. I am tired of trying to make things right when I am the only one trying. I pray that she has a wonderful birthday filled with everything that her heart desires. I pray that she is happy with the decision that she made walking out and never looking back. I pray for her happiness which is more than I know she does for me. So before this topic goes in the wrong directions, let me just end it here. Sorry to disappoint you Rebecca...lol..but this will not end up being a long dragged out post about my mother. That time has come and gone. Instead I wish her the best and move on with my life.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Blogging for Books
It's official.
I did it.
I signed up for Blogging for Books.
I love to read. I don't read as much as I would like to but I do read a lot. So when I stumbled onto this new thing, how could I resist? Here's the deal...
You pick a book out of four or five preselected books (based on the kinds of books you told them you like to read). They send you in the book in 10-14 days, at no cost to you at all. You get the book. You read the book. You write your thoughts about the book in your blog. That's it. How simple is that?! So I signed up and ordered my first book. It should be here in less than 2 weeks. I will keep you all posted on when it comes in and how this whole thing works. I am super excited though.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kindle and my super fast ebooks. From what I read on the site, they are considering doing ebooks at some point so then it would be even easier. As for now, I will have to learn some patience and just sit and wait for my book. It won't be that hard considering I am reading one on my kindle right now. Come to think of it, do I ever not have a book that I am reading?
So if you don't follow my blog please do and if you know anyone who follows blogs, pass on the info.
I did it.
I signed up for Blogging for Books.
I love to read. I don't read as much as I would like to but I do read a lot. So when I stumbled onto this new thing, how could I resist? Here's the deal...
You pick a book out of four or five preselected books (based on the kinds of books you told them you like to read). They send you in the book in 10-14 days, at no cost to you at all. You get the book. You read the book. You write your thoughts about the book in your blog. That's it. How simple is that?! So I signed up and ordered my first book. It should be here in less than 2 weeks. I will keep you all posted on when it comes in and how this whole thing works. I am super excited though.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kindle and my super fast ebooks. From what I read on the site, they are considering doing ebooks at some point so then it would be even easier. As for now, I will have to learn some patience and just sit and wait for my book. It won't be that hard considering I am reading one on my kindle right now. Come to think of it, do I ever not have a book that I am reading?
So if you don't follow my blog please do and if you know anyone who follows blogs, pass on the info.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Saint Theresa's Prayer
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be confident knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be confident knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
2011 - The Year of Relationships
So I have thought long and hard about what I want to do and what I want to change this year. From all the blogs that I read and follow, I have stumbled upon a simple yet complex resolution that is so easy to remember because its only one word. That's it. It's that simple. It's just one word. You pick one word that incorportates the main thing you want the year to be about. One reader even printed down the word and framed it as a constant reminder.
When I first started to think about this one word resolution, i couldn't decide on one word that really did it for me. My first thought was PEACE. I mean seriously with three kids, that is one thing that I I don't get a lot of but the more I thougt about it, the less it actually meant anything to me. I imagined the house with peace. I imagined my house with no yelling, no arguing, no debating, no confrentation...just peace and quiet. Wait ! This is so NOT what I want. We will have that when the kids are grown and out of the house. I don't really want all that now. And yes, I do realize that I went the extreme with the word but I want the word to really embody me throughout the year.
I continued to think about words and how they would effect my life. I thought about the word "ME". Working on me would make everyone happier but I don't want the year to be about me. I thought about "SLOW DOWN" because honestly 2010 went by way to quickly. So many words crossed my mind. Then I thought about what I wanted and it came to me...."Relationships"!
I want 2011 to about "RELATIONSHIPS". I want to work on the realationships in my life with the people that I really care about. So here is what I had in mind:
* GOD...I want to first and foremost work on my relationship with GOD. I attempted to make my relationship stronger in 2010 but I have to admit that although my attempt was valid, I did not get to where I wanted to be.
* MYSELF...I want to work on the relationship with myself. Like each year, I sit and think about how much I have let myself go. I always look forward to dressing up more, doing something different to my hair...making my physical appearance better so that I can feel better about myself. But I also need to work on my inner self. The part that knows that I am worth it. The part that understands that even though I might not dress up all the time, that I am still beautiful. There are so many things that I just want to work on. I want to really think about what it is that I want to be when I grow up. What do I see myself doing and what do I need to do to get there. Where do I see myself in 5 years and then making a plan.
*JOSE...of course he is in here. Don't you all get in a tizzy. We do not have any major problems in our relationship but what relationship can't use some work and some spice. The truth is that I have watched many relationships come to an end this past year and it scares me that it can happen to anyone. It is never a bad idea to keep your relationship new and fresh and never take it for granted.
* MY KIDS...I want to work on the relationships with my kids. I have three kids and have a different relationship with each of them. They are different people and react to things differently.
* Larissa is 16 and her teen attitude sometimes makes my head spin. This results from both of us since we are so much alike. I want our mother/daughter relationship to be solid. In two years, she will be 18 and the chance of working on our relationship becomes smaller. She will feel like she can do it all herself (I know because I was the same way) and her life will be all about her and probably really busy...without me. So I want to strengthen it as much as I can now.
* Nathan will be 13 in April. How tie flies. He is not yet a teen but I am definately seeing some teen attitude already. He is such a good kid with such a great heart but he seems to have lost his way. I want to work on our mother/son relationship but I also want to work on my teacher responsibilites with him. It is my responsiblity to teach him after all. I need to teach him to get organized so that his life can be a little less caotic with his ADHD. I need to teach him to have a better relationship at this age wtih his siblings, with Jose and with all those around him.
* CJ is only 4. Our relationship at this age is pretty simple but it can always use work. During the week, I sometimes feel overwhelmed with work and the family that I forget to make the time for him that he needs and wants. The simple one on one playtime that he should get. Timet that will allow me to see the little person that he is turning into. The little person that will be starting school in August and getting so much influence from the outside world that I can shelter him from. All I can do is teach him now to be a good person and believe in who he is.
* FAMILY...I struggle with this word because I feel like outside my home I don't know who family really is. I feel as though my REAL family has all abandoned me but I know that I did what I had to do. I also know that true family has nothing to do with blood. FAMILY in this case refers to my adopted families. The people who accept me for who I am. The people who are just a phonecall away...day or night. The people that have seen laugh and cry. The people who I call FAMILY...and you know who you are. I want to keep the relationships with my family close. I want to keep them strong and I want all those that are many miles away that no matter how far you are...you are always in my heart. It is easy to allow so much time to go by with our busy lives but I want to work on better communication this year so that I don't feel so far away from everyone. This especially included my godchildren. I don't feel that I have really been there for them the past year the way that I wanted to be. I have not been in their lives as much as I would have liked and that I will need to work on as well.
* FRIENDS...Friends and Family go together in this situation. I have a hard time drawing the line sometinems but in this particular situation I am referring to new friendships. I have made some great friends in the past year that I want to continue to work on our relationships. A relationship only deveops over time and you have to really let someone in for that to work. There are very few people here in NC that know who I really am and what I am all about. Not because I don't let them in but because they just don't know everything that I have been through...again, this a process that takes time. What better time than a year...lol !
When I first started to think about this one word resolution, i couldn't decide on one word that really did it for me. My first thought was PEACE. I mean seriously with three kids, that is one thing that I I don't get a lot of but the more I thougt about it, the less it actually meant anything to me. I imagined the house with peace. I imagined my house with no yelling, no arguing, no debating, no confrentation...just peace and quiet. Wait ! This is so NOT what I want. We will have that when the kids are grown and out of the house. I don't really want all that now. And yes, I do realize that I went the extreme with the word but I want the word to really embody me throughout the year.
I continued to think about words and how they would effect my life. I thought about the word "ME". Working on me would make everyone happier but I don't want the year to be about me. I thought about "SLOW DOWN" because honestly 2010 went by way to quickly. So many words crossed my mind. Then I thought about what I wanted and it came to me...."Relationships"!
I want 2011 to about "RELATIONSHIPS". I want to work on the realationships in my life with the people that I really care about. So here is what I had in mind:
* GOD...I want to first and foremost work on my relationship with GOD. I attempted to make my relationship stronger in 2010 but I have to admit that although my attempt was valid, I did not get to where I wanted to be.
* MYSELF...I want to work on the relationship with myself. Like each year, I sit and think about how much I have let myself go. I always look forward to dressing up more, doing something different to my hair...making my physical appearance better so that I can feel better about myself. But I also need to work on my inner self. The part that knows that I am worth it. The part that understands that even though I might not dress up all the time, that I am still beautiful. There are so many things that I just want to work on. I want to really think about what it is that I want to be when I grow up. What do I see myself doing and what do I need to do to get there. Where do I see myself in 5 years and then making a plan.
*JOSE...of course he is in here. Don't you all get in a tizzy. We do not have any major problems in our relationship but what relationship can't use some work and some spice. The truth is that I have watched many relationships come to an end this past year and it scares me that it can happen to anyone. It is never a bad idea to keep your relationship new and fresh and never take it for granted.
* MY KIDS...I want to work on the relationships with my kids. I have three kids and have a different relationship with each of them. They are different people and react to things differently.
* Larissa is 16 and her teen attitude sometimes makes my head spin. This results from both of us since we are so much alike. I want our mother/daughter relationship to be solid. In two years, she will be 18 and the chance of working on our relationship becomes smaller. She will feel like she can do it all herself (I know because I was the same way) and her life will be all about her and probably really busy...without me. So I want to strengthen it as much as I can now.
* Nathan will be 13 in April. How tie flies. He is not yet a teen but I am definately seeing some teen attitude already. He is such a good kid with such a great heart but he seems to have lost his way. I want to work on our mother/son relationship but I also want to work on my teacher responsibilites with him. It is my responsiblity to teach him after all. I need to teach him to get organized so that his life can be a little less caotic with his ADHD. I need to teach him to have a better relationship at this age wtih his siblings, with Jose and with all those around him.
* CJ is only 4. Our relationship at this age is pretty simple but it can always use work. During the week, I sometimes feel overwhelmed with work and the family that I forget to make the time for him that he needs and wants. The simple one on one playtime that he should get. Timet that will allow me to see the little person that he is turning into. The little person that will be starting school in August and getting so much influence from the outside world that I can shelter him from. All I can do is teach him now to be a good person and believe in who he is.
* FAMILY...I struggle with this word because I feel like outside my home I don't know who family really is. I feel as though my REAL family has all abandoned me but I know that I did what I had to do. I also know that true family has nothing to do with blood. FAMILY in this case refers to my adopted families. The people who accept me for who I am. The people who are just a phonecall away...day or night. The people that have seen laugh and cry. The people who I call FAMILY...and you know who you are. I want to keep the relationships with my family close. I want to keep them strong and I want all those that are many miles away that no matter how far you are...you are always in my heart. It is easy to allow so much time to go by with our busy lives but I want to work on better communication this year so that I don't feel so far away from everyone. This especially included my godchildren. I don't feel that I have really been there for them the past year the way that I wanted to be. I have not been in their lives as much as I would have liked and that I will need to work on as well.
* FRIENDS...Friends and Family go together in this situation. I have a hard time drawing the line sometinems but in this particular situation I am referring to new friendships. I have made some great friends in the past year that I want to continue to work on our relationships. A relationship only deveops over time and you have to really let someone in for that to work. There are very few people here in NC that know who I really am and what I am all about. Not because I don't let them in but because they just don't know everything that I have been through...again, this a process that takes time. What better time than a year...lol !
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