Happy 18th Birthday Amity !

I still can't believe that my god-daughter, Amity, is 18 today. I remember going to the hospital the day she was born and holding her for the first time. She was in my eyes, my first baby. I spent a lot of time with her when she was younger and many thought she was my baby. She is my peanut. That was my knickname for her and she is quite posessive of that name...it belongs to her. :o)

Happy Birthday Peanut. I love you so much. I might be miles and miles away but you are always in my heart and my thoughts. You are a young lady now and your whole life awaits you.

Happy Father's Day

I just want to wish all the father's out there an wonderful Father's Day. I am blessed to have the most amazing man in my life that is not only a wonderful dad but also an amazing stepdad. Hope everyone has a great day celebrating with the "father" in their life.

My Blog Is Going Public

I have made the decision, after much thought, to make my blog public. Up until now it has been private and only invited people could read it. This was not a decision that I made lightly and I have reasons for it. I had reservations about putting my life out there but in all fairness, my life really is an open book.

I love to write and feel that sometimes what I write about should and could be reaching out to more people. The things that I write about are pretty much things in my life and sometimes things in my head...lol. It is probably accurate to say that I am not the only one in the world to have these same thoughts. I take comfort in reading other blogs and realizing that I am not alone. If I can do that for someone else then that is what I aim for. In addition, I want to include the link to my blog with my signature in my email but there is no point to that if it's private and can't be accessed anyways.

Writing for the public will be a little bit different. So much so that I actually contemplated started a whole other blog for the public and keeping this one private. But the truth is that many, if not all, the postings would be similar or even the same. I will have to remember that the public does not know me personally and because of this, I will not just be able to name people in my life and assume they know who I am talking about. That is simple enough though.

This blog was originally created to keep in touch with my family and friends that are spread out throughout the world but I had not considered the friends-turned-family that we have made here that are still getting to know me too. So my writing has gotten more explanitory as time has gone on. That was another reason I decided to just use this one. Without any further explanation....I am live !



I will be going back and changing the intro to explain better why I am blogging since that has changed. My intro will probably be a little bit more about me too for those that don't know me. I will have to let people know that I am a very blunt person. I speak my mind. It is my mind and my opinion only. I do not expect you to share the same opinion and actually welcome and encourage hearing how your opinion differs from mine.

Happy Graduation Amity !

Yesterday, my god-daughter graduated from high school. I am so proud of you Amity. This journey has not been an easy one. She has struggled through school and had her ups and downs. Thankfully she stuck through it and is now a proud graduate. It is times like this that it makes me sad that we are so far away from each other. No matter how far we are though, you are always with me and I am always thinking of you. I love you sweetie.

RELIGION

It has clearly been too long since I have written and the topic of the day is a heavy one...RELIGION !

For those of you who know me, you know that religion has been a struggle for me since I was old enough to make my own decisions. For those of you who are just starting to get to know me, this will definatly be one of those times when you learn a little bit more about me. :o)

I was born and raised into the Catholic religion. I made all of my sacraments, minus annointing of the oil obviously or I wouldn't be here writing this now. I never really ever felt like I belonged in a Catholic church. Nobody ever knew I was there and if I wasn't there, well it just didn't matter. Even though I attended only two churches from K-high school graduation, when I went to get married and have my children baptized, they did not recognize me, they had to pull my records. I guess I should add that I am not a soft spoken person (in case you didn't know that) and I don't keep to myself, I really do branchout or at least try. Church was something that I went to for an hour on Sunday and then left. I saw some of the same faces week after week but never knew their names. Fellowship was not something that REALLY happened there. The people who knew each other already would stand around after church and chat and the others would go on their merry way. The Sunday masses were the same. I could have conducted them myself. Same words, same motions, same rituals. Not a lesson on God in my opinion. The homily was supposed to go with the Gospel reading so that you could understand it better but many times I would leave wondering what one thing had to do with another. I also attended Catholic school from 1st grade through 8th grade. All this and I know less about the Bible than anyone else.

In realizing that maybe the Catholic religion wasn't for me, I decided to start trying to find where I did belong. I attended Baptist, Evenagelical, Protestant and Non-Denominational churches all in hopes of finding one that made me feel as though that is where I was meant to be. I even studying with Jehovah's Witnesses for a couple of years. Actually, that is where I learned most of what I know about the Bible. I also learned that many of the typical stereotypes of them are wrong. They are very amazing people and kind people with a great deal of faith in their religion. I went along that path until I found that I could not and would not follow them any longer. Like most religions, I get to a point where it no longer feels like The Truth. So I stopped following. I came to a point in my life that I just decided it was better to have the faith that I do and not belong to any "organized" religion.

Since I mentioned my faith, I feel that I need to expand on that. I believe in God. God is a huge part of my life. I have an incredible personal relationship with God. I speak to Him daily, several times a day. I ask for His guidance when I don't know where to go. I ask for His strength when I don't have any more. I ask for His forgiveness when I fail. And most importantly, I thank Him each and every day for all the wonderful and amazing people and things in my life that would not be possible without Him. I believe that your relationship with God is personal. I don't believe that it is black and white. I don't believe that a church has a right to tell you that God will forgive a murderer or a rapist and not a divorcee or someone who loses their way in their religion. Your relationship with God will determine your forgiveness. It is not a priest or a pastor or a reverand's decision to make if someone is forgiven or should be disfellowshipped or banned from a church or religion....that is Gods decision (that is my opinion) ! I understand that from the organized part of the religion, they want to have rules and consequences but the Bible clearly says that God will forgive those who repent for their sins. Only God REALLY knows if you are sorry and nobody else. Human beings can not possibly speak for God. They can help teach God's word from what they study and they believe and through God's guidance but then that makes them no different than you or I. Religion is in the interpretation...hence why this has always been such a big problem for me. I am really bothered by people claiming to be really religious and then they do things that just blow my mind like have affairs, hurt people and have no regard for life whatsoever. My godfather (God rest his soul) used to say that the people who went to church the most were there because they had that much more to ask forgiveness for. They were there out of guilt he would say.

My godparents are another reason for my huge belief in God. He sent them to me. I am sure of it. He guided me through them. They were amazing people who are with God now. They are looking down on me each day. I love my godchildren in the same way that they loved me and I expect no less from the godparents of my children. God has led me to amazing godparents for all my children. They are a huge part of my life and will continue to be. I love you all.

So here I am on in the south, the bible belt and I have no religion. We have been asked to attend many different services while here. I have had some interest in them but not enough to go. I think that I have truly just accepted that there might not be a religion out there that I feel comfortable enough to be a part of. With that being said, my faith is strong and I do believe that God has a plan for me. I only wish that He had a way to share that plan with me...lol. In all honesty, I know that whatever is meant to happen, will happen. He will guide me and I will allow Him to guide me.

Recently, Jose and I were invited to attend another service with a co-worker of his and her fiance. I am still toying with the idea. I want to go because I feel as though this may be God leading me in this direction. I did some quick research on it and I am not sure how I feel. They have meetings for the men of the congregation, kids services, Sunday services and not sure what else. This is going to sound really selfish but I don't want to spend my life at church. To me, church is simply a building. I don't need to be in a church to talk to God or pray to him. I do that each and every day in my house, in my car and in my bed...even at work. I don't need to be there 4 days a week to worship him. So I am not sure where this will lead me. The parish is Methodist. I am not even sure what Methodist people believe in, nevermind if I agree with their beliefs. All I do know is that this could be yet another learning experience in my life so I don't want to look away.

I am waiting for Jose to decide whether this is a journey that he wants to take with me or if I will be doing this solo. Religion is SO not Jose's thing. Either way, I feel as though God is pushing me to search once again for a place to belong, a place that can help me learn more about him. Things that I could not simply learn on my own. I will keep you all updated on the next phase of the religious part of my life. Oh, that is one more thing... I don't believe that religion should be an hour on Sunday. Religion needs to be a part of your life. It should be there in helping you with all decisions in your life. That is probably why I am so particular with making sure that the beliefs are so in line with mine. Once again, sit tight and stay tuned and I will let you all know what I decide and how it goes.

Thank you God for all of these amazing friends and family that you have blessed me with !

Bad Habits Die Hard

I started out the year, like most people, with the intention and desire to cook healthier, eat healthier and be healthier. My life has been a whirlwind since the beginning of the year and we have gone through many changes. I could use those changes as an excuse for not following through but the truth is that the only person who can control this is me and I allowed things to get in the way.

So I am trying to get back on track. We are getting settled into the new house. We are getting back to some kind of normal routine...as normal as you can get with three kids and four cats ! Seriously though, things are going really well. The house is turning out to be everything we wanted and more. We are getting to know more and more of the neighbors and they are all very welcoming. Nathan has not only adjusted to his new school but loves it. Larissa is finishing out the year at the school she is at and will switch for the next school year. With all that being said, things are falling into place and it's time to get myself back on track.

All this packing, moving and unpacking had us eating more fast food than I care to even admit on here. I guess it was a choice but it was the best choice at the times I was faced with it. I have started cooking again and remembered how much I love cooking. I have already tried some new recipes but they are not healthy ones. Don't get me wrong, they are not unhealthy but they don't have any veggies and they are loaded with calories. I am sure however, that is still better than grabbing fast food. So I will begin the search for healthier recipes that I know the family will eat.

I am going back to making meal plans too and trying to incorporate more veggies again. I will continue to buy whole wheat when possible and try having more healthy snacks on hand. The long term goal is not just to get myself healthier but also the whole family. So wish me luck as I try to get back on track with my goals to get healthier this year. It is never too late to break old habits !

Pics of the new house !

I know that many of you have been asking and waiting patiently for pics of the new house. So here are some that I have taken with my phone so please excuse the quality. I also want to make it known that I am not done unpacking, far from it. I am trying to pick the better pictures to show you since obviously, that is what I want you to see...lol. I will try to update pics as I get things done. The dining room is filled with my mother's stuff that came to new house by accident. So that wall of boxes will be gone and that alone will make that room so much better. I don't have curtains up yet, not even the rods actually...lol. But I still wanted to share with you all what I do have so here it goes.

This is my front porch where me and the girls got to hang out on Sunday afternoon. Thanks ladies, I had a great time !



Here is the bathroom. Nothing special really. Not even sure that I like the black after I got it up but it is staying for now cuz I have way too much to do already.



Here are a few pics of my kitchen. If you remember (if not you can search through my old posts) I wanted to use the pic of the retro kitchen as my inspiration and I think that it is already taking shape. I love to spend time in here. The boxes piled up next to the stove also belong to my mother by the way and I am trying to get all her stuff to storage but there is so darn much !





This is my dining room. As I mentioned, that wall of boxes behind the table all belongs to my mother. Hopefully we can get all that out by this weekend and then I can take more pics.



And last but not least, here is my living room.




I have pics of the kids rooms but they are awful and I decided not to share them until I can do more work on them. I also for some reason forgot to take a pic of our room that is much on it's way to being done. I will get more though and post them later on this week. I hope that you have all enjoyed looking at our new home and I hope that all of you get to see it in person !