Happy New Year

It is a time for reflection as we enter the new year.

 

2014 was filled with ups and downs but it was a great year. It had some serious bumps but the joy of all the good overpowered the bad that year. I turned 40 and I was in the best health ever. My grandson was born and what a feeling that although I anticipated, I had no idea at all. Jose and I got engaged and started planning our wedding. I was so happy with where I was at in my life. I was in my happy place. I was content with all that I had accomplished in life and where I was headed. It was a good year for me.

 

2015 was also filled with ups and downs but because I could not get out of my own head, I couldn’t enjoy the good. There has been so much good. Actually this should have been my best year yet with all that happened this year. Truly some milestones this year and some great steps. I got married to my one true love. Larissa is in her happy place with a great guy, an apartment and a job with steps for advancement already in place. Nathan started Job Corp and has been given a second chance. He loves it there and he is excelling. He has a best friend there and so many other friends. He even has a girlfriend. CJ is growing into such a grown little person and I love how smart he is. It is nice to see him try to find his place in this world. We moved to downsize and although I am still struggling to make it feel like home, it has freed up funds to allow us to have more fun as a family. And although I look back and can truly see the good that happened this year, it’s like the joy is missing from my heart. I have so much to be thankful for. I have tried so hard to push it away but this year the darkness has won.

 

2016 is going to be about ME. I need to get me back on track. I need to focus on getting me out of the darkness that consumed me in 2015. So I apologize ahead of time but I am putting me first. I have spent my whole life taking care of everyone else and it’s in my blood so I know that I won’t be able to stop but I need to take a step back. I have serious issues with saying no to people and I am going to work on not taking on too much. I need to work on my happiness. I have the most amazing husband by my side, holding my hand and doing the best he can to pull me out of this. I have three great children who make me smile because I know the amazing people they have turned into are a reflection of me. I have a fun loving and energetic grandson that keeps me on my toes and reminds me what family is all about. And I have family and friends who have stuck with me through the good, the bad and the ugly. I can’t express how thankful I truly am. I know I can do this. I know I can fight this. This is my year.