Happy Last Day of 2008

Here it is. The last post of 2008!! What a year it has been. We have had some ups and some downs, but isn't that what life is all about?! That is what shapes us into who we are and who we become. My godmother always said "that which doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger!" and "everything happens for a reason!". That happens to be two quotes that I live by all the time. I am who I am because of what I have been through, the hardships I have endured, and the lessons that I have learned.

I am not a resolution chic. Resolutions seem to never come true for people and tend to turn into jokes too often. I have a New Years "To Do" list. You know that I have to be orginal. Seriously though, it really works. I am a huge "lister" anyways but that is how I get so much done on a normal basis. So here is my list. It is kind of long this year but I have a lot that I want to get done. I am putting it out here for everyone to read so that there is no denying my list. And they are in no particular order...just how they came to mind.

• Work on me ! I want to try to keep up my appearance and health better than I have in the past year. I have been really busy with many things but that is no excuse (right Mayi?) When you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, everything seems better.
• Start getting my nails done again ! I don't get to spoil myself much and there is little that I spend money on regularly for me so this is the one thing that I am going to pamper myself with. If not sooner, I will get them on as my birthday present to me.
• Spend more time outdoors with the kids ! In this day and age, we all spend too much time inside and now that we have almost year round outside weather, I need to take advantage of all that we can do. Maybe it will help get me into shape...some other shape other than round. :o)
• Visit RI...at least twice ! I obviously am planning Larissa's 15th Birthday there so we all know that I will be there for that but I hope that we will be able to get there one other time. I miss you guys so much and can't wait to see everyone again.
• Go back to school ! In order for us to take advantage of the community college instate prices, we need to be a resident for at least a year. May will make a year so I want to at least take one class a semester to get my feet back into school until I can do more. Baby steps are always a good way to start.
• Become more consistant with the kids regarding rules of the house and punishments ! That is the one thing that I have been saying for years. I know that consistancy is not my thing but this year I will try to turn that around, with Jose's help of course.
• Get a bed ! Yes, we still don't have a bed. We went from sleeping on the inflatable mattress to sleeping on the futon. We need a bed and we need it soon.
• Since I am talking about buying, I also want to get a dining room set. Each night the six of us sit around the little round table in the kitchen. We need a nice rectangular table that we can fit comfortably around and fit more if necessary. This is not a necessity but I think that we can manage to get a table and chairs in the year to come.
• I will have one date night with Jose a month...at least. We are slowly settling into this area but we have not had much of a chance to really take time for us. Starting January, we will start having date nights. I really enjoy spending time with him and we need to make it a priority.
• Get into contact with my brother Tiago...from my father's side. I have only met him once and as the older sibling, I want to reach out and try to build a relationship with him. I don't know where he is or if he is married or even has kids. I might have more neices and nephews that I don't even know about. Life is too short to not know family.

So that is pretty much it. My goals for 2009. I also want Jose to find a job in the feild that he likes. Although his job is pretty good and he has been able to make some good friends there, I know that is not where he sees himself and I want him to be as happy as I am. I can't add that to my "To Do" list though because that is something for him...lol. But I will put it on my wish list for 2009. Bet you think that I am kidding, huh? Well, I am not. I really do have a wish list too but that list is too private to share....get your own !! (LOL)

I hope that you all have a happy and safe New Years. Talk to you all soon in 2009. Love you all and miss you terribly. Kisses and Hugs....Beijinhos !!!

Books

We exchanged Secret Santa gifts at work today. Luckily I got my co-worker that I work hand in hand with and know really well because I really haven't been here long enough to buy for some of the other ladies. I enjoyed buying for Kelly although I didn't end up buying what I wanted for her...it's all good though. From my secret santa, I got a gift card to a bookstore and a book light from my boss. I know exactly what book I am getting too. I am going to buy The Christmas Sweater by Glenn Beck.

I really don't know when I got this huge desire to read. It really has intensified throughout the years. Maybe it is my little escape from the kids, who knows. I have been going through one book after another and for the most part, I must be a roll because, the ones that I have been picking have been incredible. If you have any that you have read and would like to recommend, please do so because I always love to find out about new books. I just finished reading The Shack by William Young. I would recommend that to everyone. I had heard so much about it and thought that maybe the book would not be as good because of that. Instead, the book was just amazing and just really makes you think of your own life. I have to say that I am quite fond of books that make you ponder on your own life.

I am also on the second book of the Sisterhood Series by Fern Michaels. I wasn't sure that I was going to like the series but since I have liked all the books that I have read by her, I thought that I would try it. I got through the first book in one night and then had to wait for the library to get the second one in. The second one is a slower read than the first but that is because my mind has been busy with Christmas stuff.

Oh, this past birthday, my wonderful best friend bought me Sisters by Danielle Steele and that was a great book too. I cried through the whole thing. that is yet another book that I would highly recommend to all. That was an easy read too so for those of you that find it hard to get through a book, this is the one for you.

So any recommendations from all of you out there??? I am hoping for at least a couple.

Larissa's 15th Birthday

This post will be short and to the point because I don't have much time today. As you might have guessed, I don't really have much time on the weekends so you won't get many weekend posts unless something big is happening.

I have been busy trying to make time here and there to plan Larissa's 15th. I am enjoying spending all this time really getting to know my little girl. She has grown into such a unique young lady and I am so proud of her. She is really incorporating as much of herself into this as we can and is just blowing my mind as to how much like me she really is. She wants to be sure to incorporate her background and customs in a way that shows who she is all about. I am waiting to hear back from the Portuguese Rancho that she used to dance in to see if they will perform for her and if they will allow her to perform a dance with them as well. She has been on me each day about checking my emails if he has written back to me or not. I love the initiative role that she has taken on. Each time that I throw something at her that needs to be chosen or fixed, she just gets right on it and makes a decision. The place is actually back up in the air. The man at the Knights of Columbus is waiting for a deposit from me, he gave me until the middle of January because of the holidays but Larissa would really like to have it at The Cranston Portuguese Club because that is where she used to dance and it would mean a lot to her. I have not heard yet though if they even have the hall available that weekend or not. Nonetheless, things are progressing pretty well. She has contacted almost all the damas and the escorts too. She has a few left but that is because they keep missing each others calls. I am really proud of the people that she chose too. We started with a huge list and she worked it down to who means what to her and she was certain about it all.

Well as I get more information I will keep you all posted. Thanks for listening...talk to you all tomorrow.

Picture

I am making my first attempt at posting a picture on here. Just wanted to share a beautiful picture of my three blessings.

Yah !!! I did it. I am so proud of myself. Now I will share many more as we go along. A monster has been awoken...lol.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

So the tree is up, the lights are on, the presents are wrapped under the tree, the stockings hung by the chimney with care and it's 70 out today...this is going to take some getting used to. I love our new home and I have loved decorating it for the holidays. I am looking forward to getting the fireplace working and being able to sit by the fire with the kids. I can't believe that Christmas is already next week though. Time has flown by since we arrived her in North Carolina and we are trying to enjoy every little bit of it.

We had quite an unexpected struggle when we got here. Our plan had not been for both of us to be unemployed but as we all know, things don't always go as planned. Thankfully, God saw us through that difficult time. We are not completely where we want to be but we are taking baby steps and we will get there. We know that it will just take a little longer than we planned but we are thankful for what we have.

It is going to be really hard to think of all those celebrating in RI without us. I will miss seeing the kids open their presents and taking pictures, of course! It is hard to realize that we won't be going to Mami & Papi's and Betty's for Christmas Eve and picking up the kids from Melanie's house. Last year we were going crazy making sure to fit everyone in and going from house to house but this year we will be missing it, I am sure of it. We are thankful to have wonderful friends here that are never too far away. As the years go on, I am sure that we will develop new traditions even though the old ones will forever be in our hearts. I hope that everyone has a wonderful Christmas because I know that we will too. We will be thinking of you all on our first North Carolina Christmas.

A Christmas Visitor ?

So today is another day and I really do want to try to keep up with the blog...you know, make it a happy ritual. I was thinking of what I wanted to talk while watching the kids play last night when I got a phone call. So that is what my topic is today.

Today I am going to vent about John, my ex-husband. He is supposed to be coming to visit Nathan and Larissa for Christmas. For those of you who know John, that doesn't really mean that he is coming. I have very mixed emotions about him coming down here. He has been telling the kids since July that he was coming but obviously he has never kept his word before so I have no reason to start believing him now. First he was coming down by plane, he even said that he got the ticket already but somehow that plane ticket changed into a bus ticket. Now that is some magic trick, isn't it? Before it changed into a bus ticket though, he said that he was driving down with his significant other. He said that they could spend the nights checking out the nightlife in Charlotte. Well Larissa wasn't having that. She spoke right up and told him that if he was coming to see her then he should be with her and not exploring the city with someone else. So it remains that as of right now his plan is still to come down by bus. What bus, who knows? He doesn't have the ticket yet. What a surprise and he called me yesterday to tell me that he wouldn't be coming down for two weeks like he had originally told the kids but he would be staying for only 2-3 days. Ok, so for me that is wonderful news. I am finally 800+ miles away from him and I still have to spend Christmas with him...I never spent Christmas with him since we split over ten years ago when I was only miles away. But I have to stop and think of the kids. I know that Nathan and Larissa would love to see that their father came all this way to see them and honestly I guess it would be nice to know that he cares enough to stop breaking promises to them. But how can he have no plans? 2-3 days, well which is it? Don't you think that the kids want to know how long he will be here for them or does he just plan on picking up and leaving when they get on his nerves. I guess only time will tell how this will unfold. I am determined to have a merry Christmas regardless of what happens.

Then there is Jose. He is so wonderful. He really wants John to come through for Nathan and Larissa just so that they won't be disappointed. I can imagine that it won't be the easiest thing for him but he hasn't complained once. He has been so much more to the kids than John has on so many levels. The most important of course has been just being there to teach them right from wrong and showing them what stability and commitment are all about. I should be ashamed to say this but I hate when Nathan and Larissa give their father too much credit for things. John does one nice thing and they say "look what daddy did". I know that I should be happy, I don't mean to put him down but what about all that Jose and I do for them. I know that they don't mean it like that and I feel so stupid saying it like that but it is truly what goes through my mind. I wouldn't dare say it out loud though. Jose and I talk about it all the time and he says that I just need to let things go and they will grow up and realize all that I have done for them. I know that he is right but it still hurts. So we are going to have a wonderful Christmas. I do not know what will happen but I do know that they have presents to put under the tree. Santa will visit our house this year for CJ so we will leave out milk and cookies and hopefully even get our fireplace going and drink some hot cocoa by the fire. It is going to be a good Christmas, come what may !

Update on CJ

Although most of you already received this information via email from me, I wanted to start my many blogs with this since I think that it's important. I also want to be able to look back and track the progress through this.
Ok...here it is. We had Early Intervention come out to the house this morning to evaluate CJ to determine whether they consider him developmentally behind on his speech and therefore a candidate for their state funded program. The nurse and case worker came out and spent a great deal of time with us observing CJ and interacting with him. Her determination is that he is developmentally behind with his speech, which we already knew and that is why we went to them...lol. She said that he is at about 18 months with speech but way ahead with all the other areas they tested (cognitive, interactive, ect...). He has been approved for the program, yah! The next step is working on a plan of what goals we want to meet while in this program which we will do on the 5th of January. From there she is scheduling play therapy for him. Basically a speech therapist comes out and "plays" with him and tries to engage him into talking through play. She said it might or might not work. He is also being scheduled for a full speech evaluation so that they can determine the true cause of his delay in speech. It appears as though he might need speech therapy to give him the jump that he needs. If he is not caught up by the time he turns 3, then this same program enables him to go to preschool for free. Another great perk of the program. With all that being said, I want to let you all know what the nurse thinks is the problem, only to be determined by the speech evaluation of course. She said that he is not talking because he does NOT want to. She said that through all his other actions while she was observing that he has traits of a person who has to be in full control and he IS in full control of his speech. His way or no way ! I think that is pretty funny considering both Jose and I...I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree now does it?! But seriously, he is 2 years old and in complete control enough so that he would rather struggle to ask for what he wants then to give in and just say the damn word....then again, he uses us as puppets to get what he wants, he is the one in control the whole time...we have a long road ahead of us if she is right. A 2 year old that knows that much already can only get worst, right?! Although I think that some of this is amuzing, I can't help but wonder what the future has in store for us after all this did not just start now, he has been doing this for a while now. She agrees that he is way too smart for his age. So we will take this journey one step at a time. I am asking for all your prayers because we are going to need them, especially with the patience that we are going to need to have.