Thanking God

I feel like it is necessary to take a moment and seriously thank God. Those of you that know me well, know that I pretty much always do what I set out to do. There are some big believers in "The Secret" and that you get what you put out there to the Universe. Although I also believe in this, I have a higher belief. I believe in God and that God can make all things possible.

When we made the decision as a family to move back to RI, we knew it wouldn't be easy and that it would require a lot of work because it was not something we were prepared for at all. As it turns out, every step of the way has actually been pretty painless. Every step of the way, I have been talking to God and asking for his help on this journey. With each step, he has answered my prayers.

Of course I put positive thoughts out into the Universe. But the positive thoughts come from the fact that I know God will hear my prayers and answer them as he sees fit. I trust that how they unfold is how they are meant to be and that he will always be there to help me through it. I trust completely in God and his power to make things happen.

Our journey so far has come together rather quickly. Jose found a job shortly after he started looking even in a tough economy. He was able to go up to RI early and spend some time with his mom and help us find a home. The house hunt also came along rather quickly. Some of you heard me complain about how long it felt but serioulsy, it wasn't long at all. The house is almost packed. The truck will be here tomorrow and loaded on Saturday. The kids are finishing up school next week and taking exams. Then we head out next week. Some would say that we have been pretty lucky. Luck had nothing to do with it.

I want to thank you God for always looking out for me, for always leading the way, for always answering my prayers and for always making me feel loved. I know that during these very hard times, it is You that is carrying me.

Busy, Busy, Busy

To say that I have been busy would be a huge understatement. This weekend I packed up my entire master bedroom and master bathroom, including walk in closet. Then Larissa and I started on the kitchen. We probably did about 50% of the kitchen and most of the living room too. I had all this energy and motivation. Then it all died down because we ran out of boxes...lol.

So I have to stop at Home Depot or Lowes to get a bundle of boxes and continue my packing frenzy. The truck will be here next Thursday and the 28th will be our official loading day.

And work has been no exception. I have been training people on my job and the days seem to pass so quickly which is a good thing when you are at work. Like I said...busy, busy, busy.

But not too busy to spend a little time with my kids. I took them to Cici's yesterday evening and then we got ice-cream. It was a great way to end a very productive weekend.

The things we do for love....

Aint that the truth ! It sounds like such a cheesey saying but it's so true. Not in the new love, teenage sense but in the really true love after many years sense. It is so hard to believe that Jose and I have been together for almost ten years. I guess we can't really count the ten years since we weren't together for a year and a half somewhere in the middle of it all. Even through that time when we weren't dating though, we were still the best of friends and our relationship was still growing.

I have been insanely stressed with our upcoming move. It's a lot to take in at once and the planning has been over the top...even for me. But I am trying to stay focused on how lucky I am to have the most amazing man in my life by my side. The hardest part of this whole move is that we will be apart for 4 weeks. I am sure that military wives out there would laugh at my mere 4 weeks but it is a big deal to me. I have comfort in knowing that he will be looking for a place for us to live and he will be there waiting for us to continue our lives together. Sappy, I know !

Many people have asked if we have thought this whole thing through. Trust me when I say that we have thought it to death ! People ask if we had thought about him going up by himself and me staying here with the kids. I am a mess thinking of the 4 weeks we are spending apart, can you imagine and undetermined amount of time? Besides, I wouldn't dream of not being there myself if something happened, not letting CJ enjoy this time with his grandmother and not being there for Jose should something happen. He is my rock and I would like to think that I am his as well. We get through tough times together...that is what we do. And that is what we are doing. This is the best decision for our family. This is where we need to be. And whatever home he finds for us will be wonderful because we will be there as a family together.

Is it really May already?!

It's May. Mother's Day is Sunday and Jose will be heading out in the morning. I am very happy that I will get to wake up Mother's Day with him. I am also very happy that he gets to see his mom on Mother's Day too. Once he leaves, the crunch begins. There is so much to do and so little time. Thank goodness I will be busy while we are apart or it would drive me crazy. With three kids and a house to pack...I should be very busy...lol.

Things are off to a good start though. Jose starts work next week. Both the kids schools have them scheduled for exams for June 1st and 2nd. Our leasing office for the house has been notified and we have done all the proper paperwork. I have a quote from the moving company. Mayi's flight is booked. And our house search is well underway. That is some good progress.

I still need to notify CJ's daycare. Call the utility companies to set up a shut off date. Make sure I drop off all the equipment to Time Warner Cable. Oh and pack the whole house of course...lol. All this while still doing the daily job of cooking, cleaning, homework and playing. Yeah, I will be busy.

Overwhelmed !

I am so overwhelmed with everything right now. I am trying to keep a grip on things and they seem to be slipping through my fingers, or at least that is how it feels today. Each step closer and I should feel less stress and yet I am feeling more overwhelmed. Mabye it's the thought that Jose will be leaving in two weeks and I will have the three kids by myself. Two of which really don't like me right now. Or maybe it's because I will be left with the daunting task of packing up the house pretty much by myself. Or maybe it's because my daughter has made it her mission in life to make this step in our lives be the hardest one ever.

All we ever want is for our families to be happy, our kids to be happy. The feeling of letting them down is one that you can't get past easily. I know that this too will pass. I know that once we are there and they are back with family and friends that all this will be forgotten. Do we all remember Larissa's big fight not to move to Concord High School? That was one of the best moves and she loves it there. And now I am dragging it away from her. Maybe it's the guilt in me that is eating me alive. The guilt that I took my kids over 800 miles away from all the family and friends that they knew to try to give them something better. The guilt of moving them from the schools they were comfortable with here to new schools only to realize that my kids can handle so much more than I give them credit for. And now this. After allowing them to get comfortable and call this home, I am taking it away...AGAIN.

Just hearing myself type these words makes me realize it's not all that bad. I am just having a bad day today...thanks to Larissa. The news of Jose getting the job was wonderful but it also was a dose of reality that slapped me in the face. The reality that he would be gone soon. The reality that we will be apart for four weeks. The reality of packing up and moving again. The reality of starting over again.

Unlike my daughter, I can see the good in things. I can't wait to see all the great family and friends that we have there that I miss so much. I can't wait to see my best friend and cry in her arms about how emotional I am. I can't wait to sit on Bianca's couch and watch the kids play on a regular basis. I can't wait to take a ride with Mayi so she can tell me how stupid I am being about this. I can't wait to have coffee at Mami & taste Papi's cooking again. I can't wait to see Diana get married. I can't wait to hang out at Amy's and spend more time with my godson and his new baby sister. I can't wait to play cards with Didi. I can't wait to have dinner with Danny. I will probably be mad when I realize that I am probably forgetting someone really important because I am just rambling. I look forward to Nathan and Larissa enjoying more time with their paternal grandmother while we have time with her...and CJ with his grandmother. I look forward to seeing some old friends that I have not been able to see on previous trips.

If this whole experience has taught me anything, it is that we think we have so much time to spend with the people we really care about and so much time to tell them how much they mean to us but life is really short. Each day is a blessing and tomorrow is not promised to us. So although this is a bad day, I am looking forward to the next step on our lives together.

Updates

We have been busy getting everything ready for yet another move. I am starting to feel like a gypsy. I have already settled everything with the schools. Both Nathan and Larissa will be taking exams on June 1st and 2nd with the 3rd being reserved for retesting if they need it.
Jose is desperately looking for a job but no offers have been made yet. He has made the decision to give his two weeks and head up to RI where he will be able to go to places and talk to people and if all else fails, go through a temp agency for now.
I am packing again ! The thought kills me. Thankfully I wasn't completely unpacked yet but it still sucks. I have been getting rid of a lot of stuff. Stuff that we have lugged with us from one house to another without using it. I still need to through the toys and books because we have too much.
I have a good feeling about everything though. God has been right beside me through this whole journey and I know that I am not alone. I have a wonderful family and a great support system both here and in RI. I am truly blessed.

One Day at a Time

I am sorry that I have absent for those of you that follow. It has been a very difficult time for all of us as a family. Our lives have been turned upside from the direction that they were in and we are adjusting. We can do this together as a family though. God will lead us through this.

I ask that you all bear with me as we continue to deal with our situation. I will be busy packing once again and it is harder this time around because I am not in the right frame of mind.

We have made the decision as a family to move back to RI to be with Jose's mom. We are at peace with the decision that we have made but it is difficult for us. We are doing it for all the right reasons but it is overwhelming. We have to keep focused on the positive and remember all the great stuff we left behind in RI. All the family and friends that we miss so much. We are going with a differ frame of mind than when we left. We are going to do the things we never did while we there. We are hoping to take the kids skiing at Yagoo Valley. We hope to go to Mystic Aquarium and Hershey Park and whatever else we missed. We are going to use this as an opportunity, as second chance of sorts.

So I hope that you guys all tag along for this roller coaster ride with us as we figure out just how to make things work out. Together, we can do anything.