The Gift

I read this in one of my blogs that I read (here: http://www.livingonadime.com/gift/) and I just wanted to share it with you all because it really pulled at my heart strings.


The Gift
by Jill Cooper

She stood at the window watching the snow falling gently to the ground. Thanksgiving was over and soon it would be Christmas, her favorite time of the year. But her heart was heavy in spite of the snow and the feeling of Christmas that it should invoke. The Christmas spirit that she had felt all year long seemed to have been drained out of her with a couple of simple phone calls, each from a family member saying they didn’t want to exchange gifts this year because they couldn’t afford them.

As she turned from the window her eyes fell on her little tree standing in the corner. It’s lights twinkled ever so brightly, casting a warm glow over the small pile of gaily wrapped gifts lying under it. A smile touched her lips as she thought of each person that the gifts were for. In her mind she could see the joy and excitement on their faces as they tore open the gifts and saw what was in them.

All year, she had carefully planned their gifts and had sacrificed much time and money in order to be able to buy them. She listened to each person’s big desires and little ones and had drawn so close to them that she knew not only the things they verbally said that they wanted but also the things they hadn’t voiced. She knew she had bought each one the perfect gift — Not the most expensive gift, maybe, but the perfect one for them.

Yes, she had sacrificed a lot to buy the gifts, but because her love for each person was so great and because of the joy she felt in giving, she didn’t see it as a sacrifice at all. So what if she had to turn the heat down a couple of degrees and wear a sweater in order to be able to have a little extra to buy that special something for someone she loved. Yes, it’s nice to go out to eat at the end of a long hard day, but it’s even nicer to watch the face of a child open a present and go into rapture over his new car or to see mom get tears in her eyes because you not only remembered her favorite perfume but also how much she had longed for it.

Of course there had been times when she had looked in the store window thinking how wonderful it would be to own a dress like that, but when it came to a choice between that and the fur trimmed coat her granddaughter wanted, the coat won hands down. To see that granddaughter running towards her and throwing her arms around her once more thanking her for the new coat would make her feel more beautiful than any new dress could.

Oh, she knew there were those out there who would scold her and say she should think of herself more and do more for herself, but she just shook her head in pity for them. They had no idea what they were missing out on with that attitude.

It was that very same attitude that had caused the heaviness on her heart right now. The phone calls she had received came from people who had spent all year spending money on the things they wanted: new cars, TVs, clothes and going out to eat and now they had nothing left to give to someone else.

"When did it happen?" she wondered, "– this change in people’s thinking." What happened to the times when even a small gift was greatly appreciated because you knew the person had sacrificed so much in order to buy or make it? What happened to the times when parents, spouses and children worked so hard in order to be able to give that special gift to someone they loved? When did it become acceptable to call on your expensive cell phone, from your favorite restaurant, to let others know that you can’t buy them a gift this year because you can’t afford it? Had she been mistaken all this time in her understanding of gift giving?

With a droop in her shoulders she turns and walks toward the little tree. How could it have lost its sparkle in a matter of moments? Why do the presents under it suddenly look less gaily wrapped? With tears gently rolling down her cheeks, she stoops to turn off the tree’s lights. As she reaches for the plug, her hand accidentally brushes her Bible laying on the table.She looks up through the blur, her eyes alight upon the passage on the open page. "For God so LOVED the world that he GAVE his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

A sweet peace starts warming her heart. She begins to smile and her tears are flowing even more freely now — not from sadness, but from joy. The lights on the little tree become brighter and brighter, lighting up the whole room with it’s sparkle. The gifts under it look more beautiful than those in the most expensive department stores for, in that moment, she realizes that she wasn’t wrong to love, to sacrifice and to want to give gifts to the people she loves.

Hadn’t God Himself so loved us that He gave, with the greatest of sacrifices, the most wonderful gift, His Son. She was so glad that God hadn’t spent His time in heaven selfishly using all His resources for Himself. She was thankful that He hadn’t sent her a message saying, "Sorry, but I can’t afford to give you a gift this year."

In those few moments of heartbreak she had learned something more. She had learned what God must feel like to have the gift that He sacrificed so much to give be rejected and scorned. How hurtful to take away the blessing of giving from someone or to reject their gift.

Yes, it seemed to be popular to say, "We can’t afford to exchange gifts this year", but it didn’t matter. She would continue to love, sacrifice and give, always following her heavenly Father’s example.

The above story is fictional but I wrote it because within a week’s time I’ve heard so many people say, "We aren’t exchanging gifts because we can’t afford it". What was even more shocking was these words came from people who typically made more money in one week than I did in one year and yet I, with so much less income seemed to have no problem buying gifts for my whole family.

When I commented about this to my son, he said "Mom, what you don’t realize is that a lot of these people feel like if they can’t spend $400 or more on each person, they can’t afford it so they just don’t give at all." Once again, I see it is all in the way you look at things. If you are feeling that you can’t afford Christmas gifts this year you may want to do some soul searching.

Don’t let pride stand in the way of giving gifts to your friends and family. Instead of saying "We can’t afford it" which seems to be the acceptable and politically correct thing to say, be honest with yourself and others. Is there somewhere you could sacrifice something? If circumstances in your life have changed then maybe you could just say "I can’t afford to give what I used to give but I love giving gifts and I still want to exchange. I just can’t spend as much".

Make sure you are not just saying the words "We can’t afford it" because you are tired of the hassle of shopping and trying to figure out what people want. We don’t want people to think less of us so we say "We can’t afford it" because that sounds nicer than "I don’t want to bother with finding you a gift".

If you feel that way, then it may be that your gift giving is getting out of hand. Are you buying gifts for your hairdresser, garbage man, mailman, babysitter, and your third cousin’s fourth removed son? No wonder you are frazzled. You don’t need to explain anything to these people. Just stop buying gifts for people that aren’t close to you.

If you don’t want to mess with the gift exchange at work, just politely say you can’t do it this year. If you still feel like you have to give something and can’t say no then buy one inexpensive gift to give everyone. For example I know a woman who buys several gingerbread men every year and gives them as gifts. Young and old alike love them and they are gender friendly. They don’t cost a lot and it saves wear and tear on her nerves trying to find that perfect gift for someone she doesn’t know very well.

Seriously think through your gift giving and your reasons for or against it. Remember it really is the thought that counts and not the expense. If you don’t think that is true, then why is it that the present your child spent $1.00 of their hard earned money on and much time and energy picking out, means more than a very expensive gift given to you out of obligation by someone you don’t know very well?

So that our inbox won’t be crammed with e-mails let me end with this: I know there are times when you really and truly can’t afford to exchange gifts or maybe because of extra large families or combined families you need to draw names. That is fine. The above story isn’t describing you. You know your situation better than I and you don’t have to explain yourself to me or anyone else. Who I am talking about though, are those who sit in their favorite restaurant, where nothing on the menu is under $15, with a days worth of shopping for new clothes for themselves ($100 pair of shoes, $200 purses, $60 name brand jeans) sitting at their feet while they call to say they can’t afford to buy Christmas gifts for anyone.

Check your motives carefully and this Christmas buy your gifts with your heart and not with your pocketbook.

Catching Up A Bit

I know, I know, it's been too long. I won't even bother with excuses. Let me just catch you up on what has been going on.

The two oldest are going to drive me to drink with their issues with their school work this year so I might as well be enrolled back in school...it is a good thing that I actually like school. My nights are spend going over homework, making sure all work is complete, helping with projects and studying for tests. I know that this might sound typical of a mother with children but they are 16 and 12. They should already know how to do most of this by themselves but apparently they tripped, fell and hit their heads because they seem to have amnesia about what needs to be done and how. I guess it's partly my fault for always babying them...at least that is what Jose says. Isn't it my job as a mother to do what I can for them though? Who knows.

CJ is learning more and more each day and it amazes me. His day care provider is still a little worried about him not pronouncing the first letter in each word so I have emailed the lady who did his therapy before to see what he suggests. Maybe we can get him evaluated and find out if that is something that we need to worry about or not. It would be great if they brought him into the Long School again because now it is right down the street from our house and not where he is zoned to start Kindergarten next year. I have no idea how this zoning stuff works but it makes no sense to me at all. But honestly, he is so smart and I am not worried. He knows how to write him name, he can sing his ABC's, he knows his colors....I will have to get a list of what a child should know for Kindergarten so that I can begin to get him ready. Dala, any ideas where I can get that? I can't believe he is going to school next year already. Where has the time gone?

So aside from that, we are still making our house a home. The house has changed so much since we have been in it. We are still learning to make use of the space we have. We are discovering that we actually have a lot more space than we ever realized but we just don't know how to use it to it's potential. I feel like we are also merging design styles too. Jose and I have started to lean towards cottage white style (not country) to give a more open and clean feeling. More of a beach cottage feel, sort of...oh, who knows what it will end up like...lol. I guess the house has that feeling about it so it is sending us in that direction. I have done some research and will start adding in that style a little at a time by changing what we have with paint, fabrics and slipcovers. I am sure that it will be a lot of work but also a lot of fun watching our home turn more into a home that expresses both our styles. I am really looking forward to it but it will have to wait til after the holidays because I just can't tackle that right now.

Happy Thanksgiving

I just want to take a minute to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving. Don't forget the true meaning of Thanksgiving...giving thanks. Think of all the wondeful things in your life and all the wonderful people in your life and be thankful for it all.

Just had to share...

For those of you getting this on your phones and not being able to see pics, this is all about the pic this time so check it out when you get a chance. It is a quote that stopped me and made me think. Ok, so everything makes me think but this one really spoke to me...lol.

I saw it on this other blog http://ginger-ella.tumblr.com/archive.

I have decided.....

that I am going to learn to use a sewing machine in 2011 if it kills me ! I read so many blogs and see so many great ideas that I can't do because I can't sew ! I am going to change that !

A Prayer for Dalissa

Dear God,

Please help my very best friend through this enormously difficult time in her life. It pains me that I can't be there with her. Thank you for blessing her with a such great support system that will help ease some of her pain. Please help her to see that she is not alone as you carry her through the toughest of moments. Let her faith guide her.

She doesn't deserve this. She has always done everything the right way. Please forgive me when I ask, why can't she be spared the pain of so much heartache because of someone else's stupidity and mistakes? I know that I have to trust that this is all happening for a reason. I know that without heartache and sorrow you can never know true love and joy. I know that YOU know best. She will walk away from this much stronger and wiser but it won't be easy. Please help her to awake with a smile on her face each and every day. Help her to see that she is beautiful, strong, smart and couragous. Help her to see what we all see.

Help her to see this as a new beginning, not as an ending. This is an opportunity for her to find herself again and discover the woman she has become. The person who is lost inside her from trying to give so much of herself to "him" that she she forgot to give to herself. "He" doesn't deserve to be mentioned by name because this is about her ! This is about how beautiful she is, even though she doesn't think so because he didn't notice. This is about how infectious her smile is, even though he was the reason she stopped smiling. This is about what an amazing teacher she is, even though he never really knew that because he didn't take the time to listen. This is about what an absolutely incredible and inspirational mother she is to Dylana, even though he has her second guessing herself. This is about the woman who loves to sing at the top of her lungs, even though her songs are now sad because of him. So help her get back to herself. The vibrant woman who is a show stopper. That wild and crazy hair with a personality to match. Those lips that men go crazy about. The woman who turns heads because what is not to love about her. This will truly be a new beginning. A rebirth of some kind. And watch out world because Dalissa is coming back !!!

Christina

A Journey Continues...an update

I know what you are all thinking, that I totally slacked when it came to studying the Bible. Well, you are wrong. Although I have totally slacked with posting it here since I have not really moved on, well maybe just a little bit. You see, I have been sort of stuck. I don't know if you remember where I left off or not so I am going to refresh your memory.

I stumbled onto the idea that Eve was not actually told not to eat the fruit of the forbidden tree. After doing some research I discovered that is actually what happened and I wanted to know why everything fell together the way that it did. I mean God told Adam and it was Eve that ate it and gave it to Adam but it just isn't that simple.

Upon reading tons of thoughts and opinions and scriptures relating to this question rolling around in my head, I realized that since according to God it was the man's job to guide his family and make sure that they follow the rules (I am interpretting this very loosely so please do not criticise, I guess you can call this Bible Study for Dummies...lol). So although it was Adam who did not go to the fruit and pick it himself, it was his fault that he was not able to convey the importance of it to Eve and stop her from eating of it and then of course, eating of it himself. He basically failed as head of the household. So after more reading and more questions, it has come to my attention that according to biblical scholars even if Adam had not eaten of the fruit himself, he still would have been punished for not controlling his family or wife in this case. Sort of....

Boy, I bet you that what is actually in my head is not being conveyed in writing the correct way at all but you guys all get what I am trying to say, right?

After reading all this I began to think of my own relationship,not with God this time but with Jose. Adam and Eve were the beginning of time so obviously that is as old fashioned as it gets. Me on the other hand, not so much. I am all about woman's rights and being independent. What if God intended for relationships to be like that forever. I know the world has changed and evolved but what if God did not intend for that to change. So I did some searching within myself and a LOT of praying to God. This is what I have concluded. RESPECT and TRUST. Yup, you read that right. I don't think we can take everything we read in the bible litterally, I know some of you out there will disagree with me which is why I wrote "I think". I think that the bible is a guideline set for us. I think that Adam was expected to be head of household (so to speak) and care enough for his wife that he would go out of his way to make sure that she didn't do anything to harm herself but ultimately he needed to trust that she would respect his words and follow. Eve needed to trust Adam but obviously did not respect Adam's word enough because she instead trusted the snake and followed his word. Adam and Eve did not have the respect nor the trust for each other that a relationship needs to have. Flash forward to todays world and the same is needed. We have to trust each other and respect each other. I don't think that a wife should listen to her husband and that is all. I think that trust and respect need to be there from both parties and everything else will be there too. I am happy that Jose and I have that. I feel fully that God has blessed our relationship even though it might be unconventional. I do hope to put it in writing one day but for now I am happy in knowing that we are finding our way, the right way. I know many married couples that do not have the relationship that Jose and I are blessed to have so I know we must be doing something right. We are married in the eyes of God, just not on paper. Which do you think is more important?

Which brings me to one more question that will open up a can of worms, I am sure of it. Which is better: to go to church every week faithfully and contribute to the church because that is what is expected of you but have no real relationship with God or desire to honor him OR not belong to an organized religion or go to a church regularly but have an extrememly close relationship with God because of your faith? I would choose my relationship with God each and every time. So to those of you that have asked, that is why I don't belong to an organized religion. I have but I don't feel that they are all honest and I don't feel that I agree with what they preach or that they even follow what they preach. I refuse to follow something simply because I am told. I need to follow it because it is what I believe in and want to do.

So....back to my journey. I expected to breeze through Genesis, I really did. We all know the story of the creation of the world, or do we? And how much do we really understand what God is trying to teach us in the bible? I was sure that my questions would not come until later but then again, I have never read the bible. By the way, am I suppose to capitalize the word "bible" or not? Anyways, I guess you can say that I was at a road block because I would not go on until I understood what I was reading. Now that I think I understand what I have read, not that I agree with it all but I understand it, I can move on to more info which means more questions of course...lol. This is what I was looking for though. A better understanding of the bible means a better relationship with God and therefore I can be a better person.

So I hope to post the next chapter on Sunday but if I don't, I will get to it as soon as I can. God is in my thoughts each and every day even if I don't put it in writing. When was the last time you asked yourself what place God has in your life?