Today was CJ's first day of pre-school. He was really happy the whole way there and when we drove up, he said.."mama, not miss gina's?" and I responded to him "no, not miss gina's, you are starting a big boy school today". He just laughed and said "big boy school!" He is talking so much more now. So we got out of the car and into the school and the first things he was told to do was hand over his pacifier and his sippy cup to me, which he did without hesitation. He ran over to play with the kids and the toys while I stayed to fill out some necessary paperwork. When I went to say good-bye to him though, he started to cry and reach out for me. I have to say that I have done this twice before with Nathan and Larissa. I am far from the new mom who doesn't know what can happen or that everything will be fine but it broke my heart. It just doesn't get an easier just because you have gone through it before. Jose will be the one picking him up tonight so I will be calling after naptime to see how his day was just because I want to know more than what they will put on his daily sheet or what Jose will remember to tell me. I love my baby but he can be forgetful at times. :o)
So I just wanted to share that little piece of news with you all and I will let you know when I know more. Til later....
Monday, August 10, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok...so I know that this is going to be really blunt but all of you know me really well so I am just going to come out and say it. Larissa finally got her period ! I am not going to sugar coat it and say that aunt flo is in town or her friend is visiting or all those other weird anologies that people use. It is what it is...lol. I was actually getting worried and was going to talk to the dr about it on the 21st when they have their appointments but now I don't have to...thank goodness. Wow, my little girl isn't so little anymore.
Our Newest Additions
We have two new additions to my family...lol. One of the mommies in the mommie group that I belong to had a dwarf hampster that had seven babies and they were ready to give away yesterday so I took two of them. I know that you think that I am crazy but I love animals. We already had the cage from Larissa's hampster that we had brought down, we had a huge bag of shavings for the cage and a huge box of food too so it litterally cost me nothing at all for them. They are so darn cute. They are only 23 days old and the mother already had another litter of nine...crazy! So Jose thinks that I am crazy too but the kids had such a great time with them last night. They are the size of Larissa's thumbs...so tiny. They won't get too big because they are dwarf anyways. We named them Rosie and Peanut. Larissa got to name one (rosie) and Nathan named the other (peanut). CJ just calls them babies. He says that he wants to hold the babies and he is so careful too. I can't wait to take pics and share them with you.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Re-Visiting My 2009 To-Do List
A little more than half the year has passed and now it's time to re-visit my list and see what I have done and what I still need to do and what I can do !
* work on me...well I have been putting on make-up almost every day, I wear heels every day to work and I put on my earrings but appearance wise, that is it. My hair is just a disaster, I am so bored with it. I do have the name of a place though that I will be checking out soon and hopefully she can do something with my limp mop. I have been making time for me ! Although I haven't read lately because of life being a bit hectic, I did get a lot of reading during the first half of the year and I go to my scrapbooking club once a month so that is just for me. I honestly could do better but I think that I am doing good so far.
*get my nails done....yeah ! Got them done a little before my birthday and still have them on. They make me feel a bit more polished.
*spend more time outdoors with the kids....well, ok, I have failed at this. I am so NOT an outdoors person...lol. I have gone to the pool with the kids a couple of times, I have gone to the park with CJ a couple of times and we have gone to Lazy5Ranch a couple of times...does Lazy5Ranch count? Well, it's outdoors..lol. Now I know where my kids get it from. :o) I am going to attempt to enjoy the outdoors a little more for the remainder of the year though.
*visit RI (at least twice)...another yeah ! And one more trip to go, so it will be three !
*go back to school...I have not done it and I won't be doing it this year. The last semester starts August 18th and there isn't time or money for me to sign up now so I am going to register in December for classes starting in January. At least I will be enrolled by the end of 2009. That has to count for something.
*being more consistant with the kids.....fail ! This is my biggest problem. I am not giving up though, I still have 5 months to prove to myself that I can do it.
*get a bed....yeah ! In February we got a really nice king size bed from Ikea...best money we have spent !
*get a dining room set...yeah ! Most of you saw my before and after of my beautiful FIND.
*one date night a month...yeah ! I actually think that we have had more than one a month, can you actually believe that?! Dates nights really allow us to just get out of the house and just be a couple. This was the best idea.
*get in touch with my brother, Tiago....not yet! I am still working on finding a way to get his address or phone number but I still have time.
Wish List: I also added on the bottom that I was putting on my wish list for Jose to get a job in his field. He has been at his new job three months now and he loves it. The company is great, the people are great and he loves what he does !
So, all in all, it doesn't look that bad. At least half is done and I still have time to get working on the other half. Overall, it looks pretty good. It is nice to go back through the list and actually see that things are done and remind myself of the things that I still need to work on. Don't forget to go back and revisit your lists if you have any. Talk to you guys tomorrow !
* work on me...well I have been putting on make-up almost every day, I wear heels every day to work and I put on my earrings but appearance wise, that is it. My hair is just a disaster, I am so bored with it. I do have the name of a place though that I will be checking out soon and hopefully she can do something with my limp mop. I have been making time for me ! Although I haven't read lately because of life being a bit hectic, I did get a lot of reading during the first half of the year and I go to my scrapbooking club once a month so that is just for me. I honestly could do better but I think that I am doing good so far.
*get my nails done....yeah ! Got them done a little before my birthday and still have them on. They make me feel a bit more polished.
*spend more time outdoors with the kids....well, ok, I have failed at this. I am so NOT an outdoors person...lol. I have gone to the pool with the kids a couple of times, I have gone to the park with CJ a couple of times and we have gone to Lazy5Ranch a couple of times...does Lazy5Ranch count? Well, it's outdoors..lol. Now I know where my kids get it from. :o) I am going to attempt to enjoy the outdoors a little more for the remainder of the year though.
*visit RI (at least twice)...another yeah ! And one more trip to go, so it will be three !
*go back to school...I have not done it and I won't be doing it this year. The last semester starts August 18th and there isn't time or money for me to sign up now so I am going to register in December for classes starting in January. At least I will be enrolled by the end of 2009. That has to count for something.
*being more consistant with the kids.....fail ! This is my biggest problem. I am not giving up though, I still have 5 months to prove to myself that I can do it.
*get a bed....yeah ! In February we got a really nice king size bed from Ikea...best money we have spent !
*get a dining room set...yeah ! Most of you saw my before and after of my beautiful FIND.
*one date night a month...yeah ! I actually think that we have had more than one a month, can you actually believe that?! Dates nights really allow us to just get out of the house and just be a couple. This was the best idea.
*get in touch with my brother, Tiago....not yet! I am still working on finding a way to get his address or phone number but I still have time.
Wish List: I also added on the bottom that I was putting on my wish list for Jose to get a job in his field. He has been at his new job three months now and he loves it. The company is great, the people are great and he loves what he does !
So, all in all, it doesn't look that bad. At least half is done and I still have time to get working on the other half. Overall, it looks pretty good. It is nice to go back through the list and actually see that things are done and remind myself of the things that I still need to work on. Don't forget to go back and revisit your lists if you have any. Talk to you guys tomorrow !
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Kids Are Back
So the kids are back from RI. They have been back for a week now and are already driving me crazy. I guess that I knew it would happen. I missed them so much while they were gone. I knew this whole experience would be trial and error but I feel like it wasn't such a great idea. Well you live and you learn. I am so happy that they got to spend so much time with family and friends, I try to be considerate of the fact that they have family and friends there but it was too random for me to deal with. I like to know where my babies are and what they are doing and I want to be able to protect them from all harm...I can't do that from 900 miles away !
So they are back and my house feels cozy once again. Kind of like a zoo, but cozy. The rooms are messy, the laundry is piled up, the dishes are in the sink but at the end of the night when I lay down to go to sleep, I know that the little ones are home safely tucked in their beds !
So they are back and my house feels cozy once again. Kind of like a zoo, but cozy. The rooms are messy, the laundry is piled up, the dishes are in the sink but at the end of the night when I lay down to go to sleep, I know that the little ones are home safely tucked in their beds !
Monday, August 3, 2009
My Godparents Are Together Again....Finally.
Anyone who knows me well, knows that my god-parents are two of the most influential people in my life. They are exceptional, and they are forever and always in my heart. Most people never even knew their names because I always referred to them as my godfather and my godmother. That was more important than their names to me. I called them Pa Henry and Ma Mary but their real names were Henrique Paul Lourenco and Mary C Lourenco. They were reunited in heaven the end of last year, but sadly I don't know that date.
My godfather passed away when I was in high school. His death was one of the most emotional times of my life. He was amazing but he was suffering so much and even at that young age, I knew that it was better that he was no longer suffering. I have a strong faith in God, always have. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I snuck down to the basement to "his" room and just sat there crying and talking to God. I told him that I was sorry that I had been begging for him to live longer just because I wasn't ready to lose him. I told him that if he was suffering that I would understand if it was his time to go and be without pain once again. Almost instantly, the nurse came down to say that he had passed. As a teen, I thought it was my doing, that it was because of my talk with God that he had passed. I don't know that it wasn't. Maybe God was waiting for me to be able to handle his loss. Maybe he just needed to be let go. But I truly understood his death but his loss still stays in my heart to this day. I know that he is looking down at me and so proud of the person that I have become. He is my guardian angel.
My godmother out lived him. She was very peppy and energetic and was always ready to go out. She put her hair up in rollers each night and always had her nails done. She always liked to look nice. That is until she was place in a nursing home. I had heard her say many times that is the last place she wanted to be and it killed me to see her there. It wasn't long after being put there that she started losing her mind. They say that it was either Alzeimers or Dimensia but honestly, in my heart, I think she just gave up. I think that it hurt her so much to be there that she just didn't want to remember. The life that she loved and lived each day had been taken away from her and being there was just sad to her. She always said that God would punish those that put her there and truly that has come true. That is another story all together though.
On my last trip to RI, I called the nursing home to make sure that they would allow me in since I was running so late and wouldn't arrive until well after 8 which is their visiting hours. I could tell by the nurse's reaction that something was wrong. I thought maybe she wasn't there but had to be taken to the hospitol or something. I had no idea that it was worst. She told me that she had passed last year. She thought it was November but it could have been early December. She knew for sure that it was before Christmas because they all missed her for the holiday. My godmother was loved by all that knew her....even in her last days. I had to pull over on the side of the road to stop from creating an accident. My godmother had passed away almost nine months ago and nobody bothered to contact me or my mother to let us know. The emotions were and are overwhelming. The love I still have to this day for my godparents is more than I could ever explain. I did make it to the cemetary with some very dear friends. I took flowers for both my godparents and pictures to bring back with me since I can't just run to the cemetary to see them. I said my final goodbye to my godmother that I was not allowed to do personally.
I now smile because I know that my godfather and my godmother are together at last again. I know that they are holding each other and dancing and laughing. They are the way they should be...together and looking over me and my family.
My godfather passed away when I was in high school. His death was one of the most emotional times of my life. He was amazing but he was suffering so much and even at that young age, I knew that it was better that he was no longer suffering. I have a strong faith in God, always have. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I snuck down to the basement to "his" room and just sat there crying and talking to God. I told him that I was sorry that I had been begging for him to live longer just because I wasn't ready to lose him. I told him that if he was suffering that I would understand if it was his time to go and be without pain once again. Almost instantly, the nurse came down to say that he had passed. As a teen, I thought it was my doing, that it was because of my talk with God that he had passed. I don't know that it wasn't. Maybe God was waiting for me to be able to handle his loss. Maybe he just needed to be let go. But I truly understood his death but his loss still stays in my heart to this day. I know that he is looking down at me and so proud of the person that I have become. He is my guardian angel.
My godmother out lived him. She was very peppy and energetic and was always ready to go out. She put her hair up in rollers each night and always had her nails done. She always liked to look nice. That is until she was place in a nursing home. I had heard her say many times that is the last place she wanted to be and it killed me to see her there. It wasn't long after being put there that she started losing her mind. They say that it was either Alzeimers or Dimensia but honestly, in my heart, I think she just gave up. I think that it hurt her so much to be there that she just didn't want to remember. The life that she loved and lived each day had been taken away from her and being there was just sad to her. She always said that God would punish those that put her there and truly that has come true. That is another story all together though.
On my last trip to RI, I called the nursing home to make sure that they would allow me in since I was running so late and wouldn't arrive until well after 8 which is their visiting hours. I could tell by the nurse's reaction that something was wrong. I thought maybe she wasn't there but had to be taken to the hospitol or something. I had no idea that it was worst. She told me that she had passed last year. She thought it was November but it could have been early December. She knew for sure that it was before Christmas because they all missed her for the holiday. My godmother was loved by all that knew her....even in her last days. I had to pull over on the side of the road to stop from creating an accident. My godmother had passed away almost nine months ago and nobody bothered to contact me or my mother to let us know. The emotions were and are overwhelming. The love I still have to this day for my godparents is more than I could ever explain. I did make it to the cemetary with some very dear friends. I took flowers for both my godparents and pictures to bring back with me since I can't just run to the cemetary to see them. I said my final goodbye to my godmother that I was not allowed to do personally.
I now smile because I know that my godfather and my godmother are together at last again. I know that they are holding each other and dancing and laughing. They are the way they should be...together and looking over me and my family.
Getting Back On Track
So I have this habit of going back and reading and re-reading what I write. It helps me to understand myself better. I got really emotional at my last writing and I imagine that I will for years to come if not always. Mom is still in Portugal as most of you know. She has actually showed me just how miserable she was here with me. She is taking care of herself again, she has stopped wearing black and she has become social once again. I will still address that situation when she returns but I have a much clearer head now that I have had much time to think about the situation and what it means for all of us.
I don't have time now to catch you all up on what has been going on but I will be writing each day again, with the exception of the weekends because that is my family time. I miss writing and it gives me an outlet to let all my anger, stress, happiness, joy and just any feeling that I might be keeping inside. I also need to revisit my to do list for 2009 and see how it is going. So my dear friends....I am up and writing again.
I don't have time now to catch you all up on what has been going on but I will be writing each day again, with the exception of the weekends because that is my family time. I miss writing and it gives me an outlet to let all my anger, stress, happiness, joy and just any feeling that I might be keeping inside. I also need to revisit my to do list for 2009 and see how it is going. So my dear friends....I am up and writing again.
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