Larissa has made a decision. We had another nice talk at the airport last night. Turns out that she has made some decisions already that I was not aware of. She definitely wants to go back to NC when she turns 18. Not sure if she will feel the same way after this trip.
Why you might ask? Well, as I stated in my post yesterday, I don’t think you can always go back to things the way that they were because life is never the same. People’s lives change. When you are in high school, your whole world revolves around your friends but then people get lives. People get jobs, they get married, they have babies and they no longer have the same time available that they once did. I am not saying that this will happen but it could.
Now back to the fact that she wants to move back when she turns 18. I am ok with it. I am really ok with it. This might be what she needs to spread her wings and fly. On the other hand, this may be what she needs to fall and learn how to get back up. No matter what comes of this choice she had made, it’s her choice and I respect that. I moved out of my mother’s house when I was 18 and I made it. We are two different people and I am sure that she will head down a different road than I did but that is part of growing up. I can’t protect her from getting hurt. It is getting hurt that makes you stronger. I actually think that this is the best choice for her. She needs to grow on her own.
She did tell me that her short term plans are to graduate in June 2012, work here to save up money until she is 18, move to NC and stay with Nina (she says that she has checked with Nina’s mom) until her and Nina can save up for a place of their own. I believe it can happen…if she wants it bad enough. I am also pretty sure that she has not thought the whole thing through but I can honestly say that I had not thought the whole thing through when I moved out of my mother’s either. It’s something that you learn as you go along. She will be paying for her cell phone bill and she has to find a way back and forth to work. If that is by way of a car then she needs to pay for insurance and if it’s by way of bus then she needs to budget for that. I will be sure to try to help her plan for all this before she goes.
It doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t even feel real that she is turning 18, never mind moving away from me. I knew this day would come though and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy. It is bitter sweet. I finally feel like she is growing up and that makes me proud but I am going to miss her being with me every day. I have to stop thinking about this now or I will end up tearing up.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Larissa's Trip
Larissa is leaving for NC tonight. She will be back first thing on Sunday morning. She gets to go for 5 days of her 10 days that she could have gone.
She is super excited and I am sort of excited for her too. She has been working extra hard since our last talk. She has brought up all her grades and is proud of her efforts which means more to me than the actual grades. We even talked about her future.
She has a plan! Did you hear the angels in Heaven sing praises...lol. Seriously. I was floored. Her plan is to graduate June 2012 and then move onto a 2 year community college. Depending on her actions though, she might not go right into the community college. She has not decided yet if she wants to go back to NC to live or not. If she goes then she will have to work for a year before enrolling in a community college and getting in state rates. If she is staying then she can enroll here right away but once her classes are paid for, she can't change her mind about going until the semester is over. We had a nice talk and that is all that I can ask for.
I think that this trip will be an eye opener for her. You all know what I am talking about. You think that everyone is going to stop what they are doing to come see you and that is not how it really happens. You have your really great friends that will do that and then everyone else is just too busy to fit you into their busy schedule.
I hope she has a great time though and I can't wait to hear all about it.
She is super excited and I am sort of excited for her too. She has been working extra hard since our last talk. She has brought up all her grades and is proud of her efforts which means more to me than the actual grades. We even talked about her future.
She has a plan! Did you hear the angels in Heaven sing praises...lol. Seriously. I was floored. Her plan is to graduate June 2012 and then move onto a 2 year community college. Depending on her actions though, she might not go right into the community college. She has not decided yet if she wants to go back to NC to live or not. If she goes then she will have to work for a year before enrolling in a community college and getting in state rates. If she is staying then she can enroll here right away but once her classes are paid for, she can't change her mind about going until the semester is over. We had a nice talk and that is all that I can ask for.
I think that this trip will be an eye opener for her. You all know what I am talking about. You think that everyone is going to stop what they are doing to come see you and that is not how it really happens. You have your really great friends that will do that and then everyone else is just too busy to fit you into their busy schedule.
I hope she has a great time though and I can't wait to hear all about it.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Working Hard for What You Want
I was sitting with my daughter last night talking about how if you want something in life, you have to work for it. Seriously, she is 17 years old. She will be 18 this year and she simply does not realize that !
Everything has always just happened for her. She is a good kid but the least motivated I have ever seen. Ok, maybe not the least but pretty darn close. She does as little as possible all the time and then tries to make up for it last minute and has always managed to get by, by the skin of her teeth. This has created a monster in her that she doesn’t see. It has given her this feeling of invincibility that she should have already shaken as a child.
The conversation started out simple enough. I told her that she knew going into this year what it was going to mean. You either put your nose to the grindstone and do what you need to do to graduate or you don’t graduate. There is very little wiggle room for her at all. Somehow, that was not enough for her to do it. She bombed first quarter. I mean bombed with a capital “U” which if you don’t know, that is any grade below a 32. I tried explaining to her then that this was going to make it even harder for her to graduate and she needed to step up. Second quarter report cards came and a wave of emotions went through me. Just me. Because somehow these grades don’t seem to affect her.
Here’s the deal. She did bring up all her grades but Algebra. I have to be proud of that, second quarter grades seemed pretty good. I have agreed to let her go to NC for February vacation but not for the amount of time we discussed. She was pissed. Here was my simple explanation : You gave me some of what I wanted and I am giving you some of what you wanted. She did bring her grades up but because of her low grades first quarter, she is still failing most of her classes. And from my standpoint, as her mother, I see the big picture. She did work on her stuff but not in the way that an almost adult should be working on her grades knowing that her graduation is hanging on thread. She has no motivation, no drive. She needed to work much harder and she knew that. She didn’t work to her potential and then come short. She just did what she needed to do once again just to get by. I saw that in her daily work. I expected more from her and made that clear to her going into second quarter. She did not step it up like she should have and I am not going to step it up either.
I saw that I wasn’t really getting through to her, I really shouldn’t be surprised but I was. I decided to try to change up how I was explaining things to her. She had told me the week before that one of her friends just found out that he was accepted to the college that was his first choice. I told her that is an amazing feeling to get something that you really wanted and worked hard for. She took that the wrong way and just blurted out “you know that college is not an option for me so that is not fair.” What crossed my mind instantly but didn’t come out of my mouth was “that is not my problem, that is not an option because you chose to let it happen” but I didn’t say that. Instead I explained to her that I meant the comment “generally” and I do. I mean that to apply to all aspects of her life. I explained that I just want her to want something, work for it and feel what it feels like to get it. I told her that if graduation is something she wants (and she says that is something she really wants) then she needs to do whatever it takes to get there and feel the proudness of walking that stage at the end of the year. I told her that I want it more for her than for me. If she stays back, all the means for me is that she has to go to high school one more year. It really is not going to change my life but it will change her life.
We discussed how that same motivation applies to finding a job, especially in this economy. I told her that she isn’t doing enough, she needs to call, she needs to let potential employers know that she is serious about getting a job. If she isn’t willing to do all that then she doesn’t really want a job. I was clear in explaining to her that I never thought she would be at this point in her life like this. She is such a smart girl but she just doesn’t care enough about the right things. I want her to have a job and get her own money and go to the store to buy things without having to ask anyone for money. I want her to know what it feels like to have your own money to spend on what you want because you earned it. I want her to feel accomplishment. But she just isn’t willing to work hard enough to get it and that disappoints me beyond words.
She needs to stop being handed things. Maybe I am an enabling her to a point too, at least Jose thinks so. She did improve and I want her to know that I noticed so that she will continue to improve but I want her to know that it is not enough. I want more. The more you give me, the more I give you. I want to see her grow into a responsible and motivated young lady and I am scared that I have not been able to guide her enough to get her there. Where have I gone wrong?
Everything has always just happened for her. She is a good kid but the least motivated I have ever seen. Ok, maybe not the least but pretty darn close. She does as little as possible all the time and then tries to make up for it last minute and has always managed to get by, by the skin of her teeth. This has created a monster in her that she doesn’t see. It has given her this feeling of invincibility that she should have already shaken as a child.
The conversation started out simple enough. I told her that she knew going into this year what it was going to mean. You either put your nose to the grindstone and do what you need to do to graduate or you don’t graduate. There is very little wiggle room for her at all. Somehow, that was not enough for her to do it. She bombed first quarter. I mean bombed with a capital “U” which if you don’t know, that is any grade below a 32. I tried explaining to her then that this was going to make it even harder for her to graduate and she needed to step up. Second quarter report cards came and a wave of emotions went through me. Just me. Because somehow these grades don’t seem to affect her.
Here’s the deal. She did bring up all her grades but Algebra. I have to be proud of that, second quarter grades seemed pretty good. I have agreed to let her go to NC for February vacation but not for the amount of time we discussed. She was pissed. Here was my simple explanation : You gave me some of what I wanted and I am giving you some of what you wanted. She did bring her grades up but because of her low grades first quarter, she is still failing most of her classes. And from my standpoint, as her mother, I see the big picture. She did work on her stuff but not in the way that an almost adult should be working on her grades knowing that her graduation is hanging on thread. She has no motivation, no drive. She needed to work much harder and she knew that. She didn’t work to her potential and then come short. She just did what she needed to do once again just to get by. I saw that in her daily work. I expected more from her and made that clear to her going into second quarter. She did not step it up like she should have and I am not going to step it up either.
I saw that I wasn’t really getting through to her, I really shouldn’t be surprised but I was. I decided to try to change up how I was explaining things to her. She had told me the week before that one of her friends just found out that he was accepted to the college that was his first choice. I told her that is an amazing feeling to get something that you really wanted and worked hard for. She took that the wrong way and just blurted out “you know that college is not an option for me so that is not fair.” What crossed my mind instantly but didn’t come out of my mouth was “that is not my problem, that is not an option because you chose to let it happen” but I didn’t say that. Instead I explained to her that I meant the comment “generally” and I do. I mean that to apply to all aspects of her life. I explained that I just want her to want something, work for it and feel what it feels like to get it. I told her that if graduation is something she wants (and she says that is something she really wants) then she needs to do whatever it takes to get there and feel the proudness of walking that stage at the end of the year. I told her that I want it more for her than for me. If she stays back, all the means for me is that she has to go to high school one more year. It really is not going to change my life but it will change her life.
We discussed how that same motivation applies to finding a job, especially in this economy. I told her that she isn’t doing enough, she needs to call, she needs to let potential employers know that she is serious about getting a job. If she isn’t willing to do all that then she doesn’t really want a job. I was clear in explaining to her that I never thought she would be at this point in her life like this. She is such a smart girl but she just doesn’t care enough about the right things. I want her to have a job and get her own money and go to the store to buy things without having to ask anyone for money. I want her to know what it feels like to have your own money to spend on what you want because you earned it. I want her to feel accomplishment. But she just isn’t willing to work hard enough to get it and that disappoints me beyond words.
She needs to stop being handed things. Maybe I am an enabling her to a point too, at least Jose thinks so. She did improve and I want her to know that I noticed so that she will continue to improve but I want her to know that it is not enough. I want more. The more you give me, the more I give you. I want to see her grow into a responsible and motivated young lady and I am scared that I have not been able to guide her enough to get her there. Where have I gone wrong?
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
It's Official
I had such a great time at the Simply Said Designs Training this past weekend. I was bummed that I had to wait for my tax money to order the kit but now it's official. I went on this morning and ordered my kit. I am officially a Simply said Designs consultant. As soon as my kit comes in then I can start having parties. I need to think about my Launch party too.
Not having my kit certainly did not stopped me from starting to think about my parties though. I actually worked on my booking ideas this weekend. The training gave us a lot to think about and the ladies all had some great ideas. I decided on my booking idea and decided to run with it.
I have decided to do themes since that is what I really enjoy doing. I did my cards up and here are the ones that I think would be the biggest hits:
A Dessert Party with what else but all kinds of dessert.
A Mexican Party with tacos or nachos.
A Pizza Party with what else...pizza!
A Beach Party with coconut drinks and picnic food.
A Wine & Cheese Party...self explanitory and I think that this might be the most popular.
And A St Patrick's Day Party...I still have to think about this one a little bit more.
The St Patrick's Day party stands for the Holiday party that will be switched as the holidays change. If I see that there is little interest with some then they will come out and maybe different ones will go in. It's all about having fun. The more fun people have, the more they will want to have parties. Right?!
My goal is to have several food and drink ideas on the back of the cards to help the hostess out. I want to take the hassle out of having the party.
Wish me luck !
Not having my kit certainly did not stopped me from starting to think about my parties though. I actually worked on my booking ideas this weekend. The training gave us a lot to think about and the ladies all had some great ideas. I decided on my booking idea and decided to run with it.
I have decided to do themes since that is what I really enjoy doing. I did my cards up and here are the ones that I think would be the biggest hits:
A Dessert Party with what else but all kinds of dessert.
The St Patrick's Day party stands for the Holiday party that will be switched as the holidays change. If I see that there is little interest with some then they will come out and maybe different ones will go in. It's all about having fun. The more fun people have, the more they will want to have parties. Right?!
My goal is to have several food and drink ideas on the back of the cards to help the hostess out. I want to take the hassle out of having the party.
Wish me luck !
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Report Cards
This has been a tough week for me. I threw out my back on Monday….badly…to the point that I couldn’t do almost anything. It is now day 4 and I am feeling about 75% than I did on Monday.
Yesterday was report card day here in Lincoln. I was quite scared to see what the kids have been up to. Not sure if I posted it here or not but first quarter was a disaster all the way around. Larissa failed 3 classes and barely passed the other 4. Nathan failed 3 classes, barely passed 3 and then got an A and a B. And even CJ was having issues. According to his teacher, he was hanging with the wrong crowd….in Kindergarden?!?!
So of course the kids have been on punishment and it has been an agonizing quarter. I was really scared to go home but made it clear that I didn’t want to hear from any of them that they didn’t have their report cards.
First I opened CJ’s and happy to see that he is doing good in school and no comments about the “wrong crowd” so I was pretty happy.
Second I opened Nathan’s and was….overall ok with the progress. 10 grades…three A’s, three B’s, two C’s and two F’s. All good except for the F’s obviously. We still have work to do but we are progressing and that I have to be happy about. I talked to him. We def need to get those two F’s up without letting the others fall and Nathan agreed. All the grades were brought up with the exception of those two bad grades. One he failed last quarter too so he stayed the same and the other he dropped but like I said, he has worked hard to get these grades up so a little reward is the future. He won’t be getting his laptop back fully because I want him to know that he still has to work harder and keep up the good work in order to get it all back.
Lastly I opened Larissa’s report card. Thank goodness I opened hers last. I honestly don’t think that she is aware that this is her Senior year and she will not graduate unless she passes. She failed four classes and barely passed three. One of the classes she failed is Exhibition which I was under the impression she had to pass in order to graduate. According to Larissa though, it’s not the class grade but the Exhibition project that she has yet to present that determines that. That makes absolutely no sense at all to me but I will find out more. As I was fumbling through the school website trying to see when they have parent/teacher conferences for…I got a voicemail from her school. The secretary for the Principal left me a message asking to set up a meeting regarding her graduation status. I was not the least bit surprised ! So I called back and set up a meeting. I am going in on Monday at 10:45. God help me !
Yesterday was report card day here in Lincoln. I was quite scared to see what the kids have been up to. Not sure if I posted it here or not but first quarter was a disaster all the way around. Larissa failed 3 classes and barely passed the other 4. Nathan failed 3 classes, barely passed 3 and then got an A and a B. And even CJ was having issues. According to his teacher, he was hanging with the wrong crowd….in Kindergarden?!?!
So of course the kids have been on punishment and it has been an agonizing quarter. I was really scared to go home but made it clear that I didn’t want to hear from any of them that they didn’t have their report cards.
First I opened CJ’s and happy to see that he is doing good in school and no comments about the “wrong crowd” so I was pretty happy.
Second I opened Nathan’s and was….overall ok with the progress. 10 grades…three A’s, three B’s, two C’s and two F’s. All good except for the F’s obviously. We still have work to do but we are progressing and that I have to be happy about. I talked to him. We def need to get those two F’s up without letting the others fall and Nathan agreed. All the grades were brought up with the exception of those two bad grades. One he failed last quarter too so he stayed the same and the other he dropped but like I said, he has worked hard to get these grades up so a little reward is the future. He won’t be getting his laptop back fully because I want him to know that he still has to work harder and keep up the good work in order to get it all back.
Lastly I opened Larissa’s report card. Thank goodness I opened hers last. I honestly don’t think that she is aware that this is her Senior year and she will not graduate unless she passes. She failed four classes and barely passed three. One of the classes she failed is Exhibition which I was under the impression she had to pass in order to graduate. According to Larissa though, it’s not the class grade but the Exhibition project that she has yet to present that determines that. That makes absolutely no sense at all to me but I will find out more. As I was fumbling through the school website trying to see when they have parent/teacher conferences for…I got a voicemail from her school. The secretary for the Principal left me a message asking to set up a meeting regarding her graduation status. I was not the least bit surprised ! So I called back and set up a meeting. I am going in on Monday at 10:45. God help me !
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Simply Said
It’s official. I am finally jumping in and getting my feet wet…so to speak. Those of you that are in NC and know me, know that I fell in love with Simply Said the moment I went to my first party at Tracy’s house. I had never heard of Simply Said but I am always down for a party so it didn’t matter. Michelle was the consultant that came to her house and Michelle has a personality that lights up a room. She is warm and genuine and that really shows through when she speaks. She talks about how the product sells itself and it really does.
I booked my own party to get me some free stuff and it was a hit. There are so many things that you can do with sayings and designs. I consider myself to be really creative but Simply Said allows you to be creative even if you are not. They do most of the work for you and you just have to figure out where to put it.
After going to a few more parties, all done by Michelle, I became intrigued. At the last party that I attended before moving back to RI, I spoke to Michelle about becoming a consultant. I was so interested but wasn’t sure how I would do since I really am not a sales person. She emphasized how much it sells itself. I decided to give it a shot once I got to RI after she told me that there were only two reps here in RI. I mean what is the worst thing that will happen, I will have all the great things for myself.
Well my transition took a little longer but lately, it has been heavy on my mind. And then I get an email from Michelle. What great timing. So we have been chatting and I am going to a training in MA on February 4th. I am so excited. I really think that this might be the thing for me. So be prepared to start booking some shows.
Here is the link so that you can all see what Simply Said is all about: www.simplysaiddesigns.com
I booked my own party to get me some free stuff and it was a hit. There are so many things that you can do with sayings and designs. I consider myself to be really creative but Simply Said allows you to be creative even if you are not. They do most of the work for you and you just have to figure out where to put it.
After going to a few more parties, all done by Michelle, I became intrigued. At the last party that I attended before moving back to RI, I spoke to Michelle about becoming a consultant. I was so interested but wasn’t sure how I would do since I really am not a sales person. She emphasized how much it sells itself. I decided to give it a shot once I got to RI after she told me that there were only two reps here in RI. I mean what is the worst thing that will happen, I will have all the great things for myself.
Well my transition took a little longer but lately, it has been heavy on my mind. And then I get an email from Michelle. What great timing. So we have been chatting and I am going to a training in MA on February 4th. I am so excited. I really think that this might be the thing for me. So be prepared to start booking some shows.
Here is the link so that you can all see what Simply Said is all about: www.simplysaiddesigns.com
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Projects I Want to Tackle
After giving it some thought, I have come up with some things that I want to start tackling in our house for 2012. All of them are things that we can take with us to our home so nothing will be wasted.
Living Room
• Slip covers that actually fit
• Covers for pillows
• Painting for over couch
• Picture Rails
• Paint End Tables
• Area Rug
• Coffee Table?
Dining Room
• Paint Dining Room table *already started this*
• Recoat dining room chairs if I can
• Curtains for windows
• Find way to minimize clutter
Master Bedroom
• Pillows for bed
• Dresser
• Curtains
• Something big for above the bed
• Storage
Boys’ Room
• Curtains
• Dressers?
• Duvet Covers
• Pillows
• Bed skirts
• Personalizing each boys space
Bathroom
• Something above the toilet
• Towel holder
• New Rugs
Living Room
• Slip covers that actually fit
• Covers for pillows
• Painting for over couch
• Picture Rails
• Paint End Tables
• Area Rug
• Coffee Table?
Dining Room
• Paint Dining Room table *already started this*
• Recoat dining room chairs if I can
• Curtains for windows
• Find way to minimize clutter
Master Bedroom
• Pillows for bed
• Dresser
• Curtains
• Something big for above the bed
• Storage
Boys’ Room
• Curtains
• Dressers?
• Duvet Covers
• Pillows
• Bed skirts
• Personalizing each boys space
Bathroom
• Something above the toilet
• Towel holder
• New Rugs
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