More Time With Loved Ones

This year is all about SIMPLIFY. Are you tired of hearing that from me?

Well  the funny thing is that there are so many things that I am going to apply this to in my life, as the year goes in…right down to my wedding.

My Christmas was simplified, it was really simple and low key and I really enjoyed spending time with Jose and the kids…all the kids. It was such a pleasant surprise to have Larissa come by with Brandon and spend part of the day with us.

New Years was also simplified. We didn’t do anything New Years Eve except catch up on some shows, eat Chinese food and go to bed. New Years Day we celebrated with Jose’s mom and brother, Didi and Joshua and Christie and Gary. Simple little dinner party to celebrate. CJ was with us and Nathan joined later on after picking him up from Bianca’s. Nathan spend New Years with Mani and had a blast from what he tells me.

The more I simplify things, the more I enjoy my time with my family and friends. Not being stressed out about doing too much and all the crazy details has left me with more time to spend with my loved ones. It’s amazing how one simple thing can really help you open your eyes to what has been there all along. My kids are growing up so damn fast. I really don’t know where the time has gone. They say the older you get, the faster time goes…well that is true. I want to appreciate all the time I have with them so slowing down has really made a major impact on my life already and the year has just started. In all fairness, I did start simplifying at the end of last year already. I mean why wait until January 1^st to start something that you can start today.

I will continue to do things that make life easier on me. I am going to continue making my meal plans and shopping lists and I will try to stick to them more consistently. I will continue to declutter the house with things that we don’t use and don’t even know are there half the time. I will continue to think before buying things to bring into the house.

I am also going to take additional steps to help me on my journey to simplify my life. I have bought some birthday cards to keep home for last minute birthdays that pop up. I will try to prepare for the birthdays of the coming month in advance so that I don’t pay more than I need to for last minute gifts. I will try to come up with a laundry and cleaning system that works better than what I am doing now so that I don’t get stressed when we have people coming over.

Being prepared for things will allow me more time to enjoy and more time to spend with my loved ones.

New Year

With each passing year, it’s a time to reflect. A time to think about what had led you to this point. A time to think about what you would like to change. A time to let go of the past and embrace the future. A time for new beginnings.

2013 has been a year of loss and gain, a time of pain and joy, a time of tears and laughter. It has had its ups and downs. The beginning of the year started out like a whirlwind. There was so much pain and anger that I wasn’t sure I wanted to see what the rest of the year had in store for me.

My relationship with my daughter was tested and seemed to fail in the early part of the year. My fear of losing the relationship with her became all too real. I had a mysterious pain that developed in my back and arms which landed me in and out of the urgent care, which ended up being a vitamin D deficiency. Then I got the news of my biopsy and I had my hysterectomy and I was out of work for 7 weeks. Larissa got pregnant and had a miscarriage…with complications. Nathan barely made it into high school, for the second year in a row. Jose and I had our ups and downs with all the things we were up against.

Then the year began to turn around.  After the hysterectomy, my body was free of pre-cancerous cells. After a healthy dose of vitamin D, the pain in my body went away. Larissa is still working on getting her life together but she is once again working and I hope on the right path to some type of goal. Nathan was re-evaluated for his ADHD medications. And…Jose and I got engaged.

 

Through all these ups and downs, I have to remember that I have so much to be thankful for. I have a good job, a nice apartment, a reliable car, an amazing family, great friends and more than I need.

What I have noticed is that the more things we have and the more things we want, the more complicated life becomes and the more stressed I become.

2014 is my year to Simplify. I want to spend less time buying things and more time enjoying what I have. I want to spend less time trying to find places for things and more time getting rid of things that don’t have a place in our home. I want to spend less time trying to make everyone else happy and more time trying to make me and my family happy. I simply want to surround myself with things that make me happy and get rid of all the things that take away from my happiness.

Life is short…too short. We spend way too much of it wanting more and wanting to do more. It’s time to stop and smell the flowers. Time to spend more time with the kids. Time to really enjoy the time with my family that I have left. The past is the past, tomorrow is not promised and today is the present. It is a gift to us and that is why it’s called the present. I want to enjoy what God has given me and I don’t want to continue to take what I have for granted.

Bring on 2014 !

Simplify

The past couple of years I have heard a lot of hype around the blogging world about a one word resolution. Although I did have a theme one year, it wasn’t a one word resolution. This year has been an insane year though. This year was all about stress and heartache and problems. I have been trying to cut back on my commitments and the things that I tend to agree to all year long. Then it hit me !

Simplify.

My one word New Years Resolution for 2014 is….Simplify.

I am have already started to purge at home. I have been getting rid of things that we don’t want, don’t need or simply don’t use. I am trying to get the kids on the same page as me.

This also included my commitment to things. I tend to agree to go to everything and try to go to everything in fear that I might offend someone. I know that might seem hard to believe. I mean, me care about offending someone? The truth is that although I will tell you the truth right to your face without care of offending you, that is only because that is the truth. But offending someone because of something that I can control bothers me for some reason. I don’t want people that I do care about to think that I don’t want to be there for them but many times it is at the risk of my own sanity. I run around doing everything for everyone and again, my sanity is the one that suffers…which means my family suffers…which makes me very unhappy.

I have a wedding to plan this year and I still have three kids and birthdays and holidays. That is all I need on my plate. Of course I will still do things but I will try to think of how adding something else to my plate will affect my family and me.

My Christmas and New Traditions

Christmas is usually a whirlwind. When Jose and I got together, our Christmas season blew up. I had traditionally spent Christmas eve with the godparents (Dalissa w/ her family and Melanie w/John’s family) and Christmas morning at home and Christmas day with the grandparents (my mom and John’s mom). Jose traditionally spent Christmas Eve with his family and Christmas day with his best friend, now CJ’s godfather, Pedi. Needless to say, when we got together, we tried to make it all work. After CJ was born, the holiday became more and more difficult to control and I started enjoying Christmas less and less even though it’s one of my favorite time of the year. The rushing from house to house took away from the season and made it something I began to dread.

Then we went to NC. While we were there, our holidays became our holidays again. They were spent at home enjoying them with the children, the way that I believe they are intended. I think of those days and they just make me smile. They were relaxing and full of joy. Don’t get me wrong, I did miss some of the hustle and bustle that I had been used to in the holidays past.

Fear not, the hustle and bustle came back when we moved back. Once again we were thrown into all the different houses that we had to go to on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. We tried to fit it all in because we had been away from it for so long. But it didn’t take long to realize that our holiday was no longer our holiday again.

This year, we got our holiday back. Since my New Year’s resolution (spoiler alert) is to simplify, I decided to start early. Jose and I decided to not go to anyone’s house except to his mom’s on Christmas Eve. We would have to make other arrangements. I want to spend Christmas at home with my kids. I want to stay in my PJ’s and spend the day watching the kids enjoy their presents. To be completely honest, I didn’t think that I would even be able to see Larissa for Christmas because she was going to Brandon’s sister’s house.

So how did my holiday unravel?

Christmas Eve, both Jose and I worked. The day before, I dropped CJ off with Jose’s mom and I dropped Nathan off at his dad’s to celebrate there until Christmas Eve night. While I was out, I got to give most of my niece and nephew’s gifts to them and even watch them unwrap them. I had planned on dropping them off but watching them unwrap was a pleasant unexpected surprise. So Christmas Eve, Jose went straight to his mom’s after work and I went home to finish some cooking and grab the presents and then met him there. After Jose’s sister arrived from the airport, I went to get Nathan and we back to Jose’s mom’s house. We ate our Christmas Eve dinner and opened presents there. We didn’t get home until after midnight. We got home, rushed the boys to bed and brought out the presents…then we went to bed !

Christmas morning I woke up to a quiet house because we had been up so late the night before. I made myself coffee and enjoyed my tree with all the beautifully wrapped presents. I gave thanks for all that we have and all that we can provide. I know that there are many families out there that are in horrible situations and I wish them some peace during this holiday season. CJ woke up sometime after 10am, then he went to wake up Jose and we woke up Nathan together. It was such a great morning. Once presents were all opened, I made a nice big breakfast complete with eggs, bacon, sausage and hash browns. The kids got to enjoy their presents more. I began baking…brownie covered oreos, monkey bread, brownies, and oatmeal lace cookies. Larissa did decide to come over with Brandon. They opened presents and then I made dinner. The day was spent in my PJ’s with my kids. What more could I have asked for? I had everything that I wanted.

What have I learned? I am taking my holiday back. Larissa is already out of the house. Nathan only has a few more years until he is 18. CJ is not that far behind him. I want to enjoy my Christmas with my kids while I still can. This is the beginning of a new tradition. Christmas is mine. I will be selfish and I will not feel guilty about it. I am taking my Christmas back !

This leaves the question of when do we exchange gifts with everyone else. We can continue to exchange presents and celebrate with Jose’s family on Christmas Eve. But what about everyone else? Dalissa, Biance, Mayi, Pedi, Didi, Amy, Lucy, Melanie, Tatiana, Marco etc. I wish that there was a way to do it all in one shot. Wait, there is! We are going to start a new tradition. We are going to have a Christmas gift exchange party either right before or right after Christmas. Since Christmas falls on Thursday next year, we can plan to do it the Friday, Saturday or Sunday after. I will have to be careful to plan around birthdays. But this will allow us to give everyone their gifts still in the Christmas season and actually see everyone and get to spend some time with them without feeling guilty about keeping Christmas all to ourselves.

This Christmas has brought me smiles and change. I am once again looking forward to my holidays !

More pics

I was supposed to be cleaning and wrapping and doing laundry yesterday. What was I doing instead? This is what I was doing...

She has stolen a little piece of my heart. I am so in love with her.

Dejanay is here !

Yesterday I was blessed to welcome another god-daughter, Dejanay, to this world. She was 6lbs and 11oz and she is the chubbiest little butterball there is. I want to take her home and just look at her. I am so happy to be a god-mother yet again. It has been a really long time since I have been able to spoil a little girl and I am going to have so much fun. Without further explanation...here she is:

 

I wanted to share a few pictures of the little bundle of joy. Look at all her hair !
 

 

Here she is with my daughter, Larissa.

 

And here she is with Larissa and my niece, Tatiana. The girls in the family have some great genes because they are beautiful. 

This picture of my daughter and niece makes me smile. To see the two grown girls holding their baby cousin just makes me happy. There are so many years between them right now but one day, when they are all older, the age gap will seem smaller and I hope that the girls have a great relationship.

 

 

My Date with my Niece

I had a date with my niece, Tatiana, last night. I had a great time and we really should do it more often.

Tatiana has grown into such a beautiful and smart young lady. She has been in her apartment for 2 ½ years now and it looks amazing. She does a great job of decorating and keeping up with it. Yesterday, I got to see her tree up too. It made me so proud to see how great she is doing and how beautiful her home is.

We got together because she was feeling depressed. She works for a bank and they have recently been taken over by new ownership. Her manager has changed, her job has changed, they are pouring so much responsibility on her because they know she can handle it and she is getting really stressed. She is in the process of looking for a new job. The concept of the new job is stressing her because she makes good money where she is. She meets monthly goals each month which add to her income and give her a larger salary when added in. She feels a pay cut with a new job. She is stressing the pay cut because she doesn’t just want to work to pay her bills.

She is such a smart lady. She wants to live life and enjoy each day. Some people never figure this out. Sadly, I always thought and dreamed that I would be having this conversation with my own daughter. I wish that I could have these conversations with Larissa. Larissa’s priorities are all screwed up. I hope that she gets her life together and have more important priorities that we can sit down and talk about. I want to go visit my daughters place to have coffee and see all the new cute stuff she got. One day !

Back to my niece…I love you Tatiana. I am so proud of who you are, what you have become and the woman that you are striving to be. Don’t stress the small mistakes, they will only make you stronger and wiser. Keep up the great work.