I was on FB this weekend for the first time in a long time. I noticed that my brother-in-law in Portugal had updated his profile pic so I decided to take a look since we all know that I love pics. I was stopped short by the title of one of the very few albums he has on there. It was my mother's 50th Wedding Anniversary Party !?!? Just goes to show you that my family is crazier than I thought and I clearly seem to be the only sane one in the family...how scary is that !
The pictures were great to see. Everyone was there and my mother clearly looked happier than she has been in....God only knows how long. Pictures of them with the kids and grandkids and both sides of the family. Pictures of their cake and cards and flowers. She does look really really happy. That is truly all I have ever wanted for my mother. Proving once again that the decision to leave here was the best one all the way around.
Some of you have already gotten what's with the title of this blog and others of you that don't know me well, will understand now. You see, my mother is NOT married. My mother is divorced or at least that what she has told me all these years and that is what she files as and legally puts on papers. Of course there is a possibility that she has lied to me all these years and that they were never divorced. It would not be the first lie that I have stumbled on this way. The bigger point for me though is not whether or not she is married since at this point, it makes no difference in my life. My problem with that party is that they are celebrating their 50th Wedding Anniversay. For over 30 years, they lived in seperate countries, led different lives and dated other people. Let's say that they are back together now, which would be great for her. How can you really justify having a 50th Anniversay Party knowing that you weren't together for more than half of that time. And the funniest thing of all this is that there is a picture of the card that my aunt got for them and she wrote in "Congrats, you made it to your 50th Anniversay". Well damn, anyone can make it to their 50th if they don't have to live together, be together or even be in the same country. That makes it real easy.
I am not sure where my biggest frustration in this whole thing comes in. Maybe seeing my whole family together, without me, hit a cord. I honestly don't think that is it because I truly want this for her but emotions come up in ways we don't expect sometimes. Maybe it's all the lies. Maybe it's the fakeness of it all. Maybe it's that I knew nothing about it at all and found it on FB. Or maybe it's that very few couples actually make it to their 50th Anniversary. It is truly something to be celebrated and not something to be mocked.
Clearly I have an issue with that celebration. Clearly I have issues with my mother and how she handles things. Does anyone else out there think that this is totally insane though ?!?! I would really like to get some feedback about this.
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