Chapter 36

Wow ! I am 36 years old. As Bethany put it, I am closer to 40 than 30 now. It's all good though, I love life. I have had a pretty bumpy life, but seriously, who hasn't?
I have laughed and I have cried. I have loved and I have lost. It is all what life is about. It is all a learning experience. My life is not about how old I am but the things that I have experienced, the things that I have seen and the things that I have done. All this and more is what has shaped me into the woman that I am today. Being strong, loving, independent and strong is what it is all about for me and I don't believe that you can't have it all.

I have the most wonderful man by my side. I had to kiss many, MANY frogs to get to my Prince Charming. It proves that all good things come to those who wait. I also don't think that I would appreciate him as much as I do if I hadn't been through all that I have been through. Just more proof that everything happens for a reason. Of course it helps that we just fit together so perfectly. I never thought that relationships could be this amazing and wonderful until I met Jose. I thought that all relationships involved fighting and hurting each other and learning to live with things. What I have learned instead is that relationships are about trust, respect, understanding and compromise. If you have all that then it really is simple. Don't get me wrong, we have our arguments, our situations and our altercations but we resolve them peacefully and without hurting each other. Since we have met, we have never sworn at each other and we have never puposefully said anything hurtful to each other. If I didn't live it myself, I wouldn't believe it either. It's true though and it wasn't always easy either...lol. We are oppposites and we have had to learn how to deal with each other. I am a talker and he is a spacer. I talk about everything, it makes me feel better, it helps me to understand the situation. He needs space. He likes to think out the whole situation before saying anything and once his thoughts are all together, he comes to me to talk. This hasn't been the easiest thing for me but we compromise. He comes to me now and tells me that things are ok but he just needs to clear his head. I feel better and I wait. If you had told me ten years ago that I would be in a relationship like this, I would have laughed and told you that you were crazy. But it is how things are and I am the luckiest woman on earth to have him.

I have three wonderful children who drive me absolutely insane. Children are so amazing. They are innocent and funny and twisted and deceitful all in one bundle. They make me laugh and they make me cry. Having lost a child, I know how precious they are and what a miracle life is. Being a parent is one of the most thrilling, emotional and frustrating things in the world...lol. I give so much credit to stay at home moms. I know that I am a working woman but that doesn't mean that I love my children any less. I personally, am a better mother because I have time to be myself during the day. I look forward to going home and seeing them. I love how CJ comes running to us when he sees us. I like finding out about Larissa and Nathan's day. I like coming home to wonderful home full of love.

Which leads me to my next thing...we are blessed to be moving into a home that we are in love with. A house that we will call home now. A home that we will fill with love and memories. A new beginning for Jose and I. A new stage in our lives. Always adding to the previous stages that has made our lives whole. Another chapter in our lives and only God knows where this will lead us. All I know is that together and with God's help, there isn't anything that we can't get through.

My faith stands strong ! It has been over two years, maybe even three since I have attended a church or a mass. With that being said, my faith is the strongest that it has ever been. My faith is what has gotten me through some of the most difficult moments in my life. This past year has had it's trials and it is God that carried me through them. It is my faith in God that guides my life.

I can't even begin to list all of my wonderful family and friends that have been a huge part of my life. You have all been there for me through the good times and bad times. You have been there for me through laughter and tears. It is relationships like this that keep me strong and allow me to give back.

So as chapter 35 of my life came to an end, chapter 36 begins. A new chapter to be written in any way that I want. A new chapter that I get to write. Stay tuned, you never know what will happen next !