A new Bible study

So yesterday was my first day with a Bible Study group. I say first day because I truly hope to make it part of my life.

 

I have been in search of….religious knowledge…fellowship…religious people who are good people. Dabbling in different religions only left with a bigger feeling of disappointment. Are all religious people judgmental, cold, two sided, religious when it’s only convenient? I certainly have tried different organized religions. I had certainly been in search of where I belonged.

 

I had come to a conclusion…I didn’t belong in any organized religion. I couldn’t agree with some of their rules and conditions to be part of an organization that should be about your love for God…period.

 

So after the New Year, I was sitting watching TV and my mind was bouncing around as only my mind does and I thought of a few comments that a girl from my High School had posted on my previous rants about organized religion. I don’t know where the thought came from. Actually, I do. It was nothing short of God putting it in head. I honestly can’t even remember what she posted on my comments. It doesn’t matter. All that matters was that it stayed in my mind and in my heart.

 

So I reached out to Amy. I told her that I wasn’t even sure why I was reaching out to her. She laughed because, like me, she already knew. God works in mysterious ways. She asked me if I had any questions that she could answer. I told her that I wasn’t even sure what my questions were. I explained to her about my Catholic School upbringing. I explained about my adventures in different organized religions. I explained to her that I just didn’t feel like I belonged. She asked if I wanted to get together some time and talk and I was quick to set up a time to meet with her because I was being guided and I knew it.

 

We met yesterday. It was a bit awkward at first because Amy and I didn’t really know each other in high school and I didn’t really know her now. But with each word, I trusted that God was leading me to her and I started to open up to her. We talked for a while but it did not seem like nearly enough. I wanted more.

 

I explained that I wanted to read the Bible. I wanted to understand the Bible. I told her that I had searched for a non-denominational Bible study group but could never find one. They just don’t exist. Then she smiled and said, yes they do. She invited me to go with her to her aunt’s house. Her aunt is a pastor and they have a very small group that gets together to pray, study the Bible and talk. I was eager to learn but afraid of more disappointment. They meet once a week on Fridays. Fridays are not good for me because of driving to Exeter to pick up Nathan. I don’t want to start my journey with excuses though. I was ready. That Friday didn’t work because Amy had other plans. As she explained it to me, it was very relaxed. She said that if that day did not work that we could look at other days. Since it was a crazy week, we decided to wait another week.

 

Yesterday I had mixed emotions of nervousness and excitement. Amy came with her mom and we met in the parking lot. There were 4 other people there when I got there. There was prayer and singing and then to sit and go over the Bible. It was interactive. It was pleasant. There was no pressure. There was no feeling alone or isolated. There were questions and answers. There were conversation. Not in a way that you have to decode but in a way that you and I would have a conversation. Amy’s uncle asked me questions directly. I think that maybe he understood that I was totally overwhelmed and wouldn’t voluntarily give much info. I was the new girl and that it awkward for me. The questions were somewhat thought prevoking. I went home with some serious thoughts…which is great. It became comfortable as time went on. It was like friends coming together to talk about one thing they knew they have in common…their love for God.

 

 

I need to sit down and write down my questions. I will try to do Fridays as long as I can. Maybe at some point I can talk to them about a different day if this day doesn’t end up working. I know it’s only day one but it’s a good day one. Baby steps is the way to get to where I want to be. I am happy.