Finding My Way Back...

I am having a hard time. I have been sent in several different directions and I am having a hard time finding my way back to me.

I have to find a way to get myself back. I can feel myself disappearing...not literally, although that would be nice too...lol. I just don't know what is going on. I feel like I am going through the motions but this is not my life.

I am usually so motivated and straight forward. I want something, I go after it and I get it. Things like that make me happy. Being creative makes me happy. Being with my family makes me happy. Reading makes me happy. But nothing has been doing that for me lately. I am aware of it. I know that I have to change. I know that I have to get a grip on my life and get it back. I know that only I can make me happy!

I have put the blame on the move for a while. The move that I promised myself I did knowing what I was getting into. I did and I do. But I miss NC. I miss is way more than I ever imagined that I would. Of course, it doesn't help that our house here is far from "home". Which brings me to excuse #2. Maybe once we find a home here that really is home that it will feel like "home" to me. But who am I really kidding. I know that home is where you make it. I know that in order for me to feel like I am home that I need to make it home. The bigger question is, can I do that?

I have been feeling bummed. I have been down. I need to pick myself up and start over again. No more excuses. Only steps forward.

Here I go !