I am NOT ok

I am NOT ok.

So much has happened in my life in the past five years. With each blow to my life, I deal with it the best way that I know how and simply tell everyone. “I am ok.”

I am NOT ok.

I am NOT ok with how my mother treated my kids.

I am NOT ok that I don’t have a relationship with my mother and she is gone out of my life.

I am NOT ok that my mother in law has cancer and there is always a chance of losing her too.

I am NOT ok that my daughter decides to “speak her mind” and tell me that the one man that has been there for her consistently for the past 10 years, she doesn’t like because he cares enough to discipline her.

I am NOT ok with Jose telling me that he was never happy in NC and we are most likely not going back. Who am I fooling. I know we aren’t.

I am NOT ok with my daughter and my son failing school. They just don’t understand how important it is.

I am NOT ok with my daughter lying to me, doing things behind my back and having a complete disregard for my rules and herself.

I am NOT ok with Jose not knowing how much more he can handle.

I am NOT ok.