Have you ever had a day when you can't seem to get a particular person out of your head? Well I am having that kind of day. I have been having that kind of month but today is the day when it's the strongest.
I haven't gotten over the death of my godmother yet but somehow her death is a little more bearable knowing that I had really said my good-byes to her when she was still in her right mind. I knew the day was coming and I also knew that she was happily waiting for it. Experiencing the death of my godmother though has opened so many feelings from my godfather's death.
It has been 19 years and it still feels like yesterday at times. My godfather was the single most influential man in my life...until now. My godfather was very soft spoken and very reserved unless he was around people that he was really comfortable with. He never argued with my godmother or raised his voice to her. I am sure they argued but never in front of everyone. Airing their dirty laundry just wasn't something that they ever did. They seemed to always be in harmony with each other, finish each other's sentence and know each other's actions before they did it. The marriage that he and my godmother had is what I strive to have some day.
My godfather was a very religious man. It isn't that my godfather would spend hours talking about it or going to church, he just was. He would go to church on Sunday, every Sunday. If we weren't near our church then he would go to any church in the area. It was sacred to him. And his actions showed his love and belief for God. He had a respect for himself, life and his family that just shows a kind of connection with God.
My godfather was a wonderful man and such a big part of my life for the short time he was here. I don't ever remember a time that he let me down or disappointed me. Not that he spoiled me (well, ok, so he did) but he just had this way about him.
He hated to shop but he loved to drive. So, he would tell us all to get ready and he would drive us to a far mall, many trips were made to The Crystal Mall in CT. When we got there my mom and godmother would go shopping and I would hang with my godfather. We would sit and have milkshakes or throw pennies into the fountains or go look at books. He loved books and loved to learn about anything and everything. He would buy a book about the stars and then sit there and read it and then teach it to me. He opened my eyes to so many things through books and by example. I would spend hours with him in the garden or going clam digging.
He encouraged me to do whatever I wanted. He had complete faith in my abilities. I remember he bought this white statue of The Virgin Mary and put it in the yard and Mary stood in this white semi-circle, you know the inlet thing she stands on that surounds her? Well, I sat with him on the porch and made a comment about how white it all was and how beautiful it would be if we could paint a blue sky with clouds in the back so that it looked like she was in heaven. I had seen it done on tv (Bob Ross) but never actually done it. He went and bought the paint and said "go ahead and do it". I was so scared. I was so afraid of messing up his statue. He told me to do it and if I didn't like then we could always paint it white again. I did it and it came out beautiful. It was actually the first time that I painted and it gave me the courage to do more later on. He was so proud of me and he would show anyone who came to the house.
The relationship we had was like no other and it still is. I know that this must sound silly but I guess that today I have been feeling his presence all around me. Like he is really with me and watching over me and my family. It is a feeling that is just so comforting and unexplainable. I just felt like sharing this with you all. Hope everyone is having a great day.
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