A Life Gone...Just Like That.

I am going to do a bit of rambling today since I did not plan to talk about this. Shortly after arriving at work, I noticed that my daughter updated her status on FB. It read "RIP Carlos Delsalto, you'll be missed".

I remember Carlos from when Larissa went to Robinson, the high school she was at before we moved to the house we are at now. I don't really know Carlos, just from what Larissa would come home and tell me. She is always talking about her friends and although sometimes I wish I could just put her on mute, I am also thankful for that open relationship we have. I hear a LOT about ALL her friends, sometimes more than I care to know. So I remember her talking about Carlos and he seemed like a nice enough kid.

Carlos hung himself at 1am this morning. He took his life because his girlfriend cheated on him and broke up with him. He was a junior in high school, just like Larissa. I am going to give you a minute to take all that in before I go on.

Ok, so that alone gave me goosebumps galore but then I started praying and thinking. I was praying for the lost boy who thought that he had nothing to live for and decided that taking his life was the only solution. I was praying for his family, particularly his parents who are probably wondering if there was anything that they could have done differently. I was praying for any the girl who acted like many teenagers do but will live with this guilt for the rest of her life. I was praying for his friends who are left behind wondering...why?!

I wonder why and how ! How can a child or teenager in this case feel like they have nothing left to live for when their whole life is ahead of them. Why do we focus so much on relationships as teenagers? I did it. I remember being there and that being my whole world. I remember the pain of break ups but I never even considered taking my life as an option. What makes someone think that way? I just don't understand. And not understanding scares me. I have a teenager and a soon to be teenager. This experience has scared the living daylights out of me. What if my children can't deal with rejection and think that they have nothing to live for regardless of what I teach them. What if I was ever faced with this. It is alarming and scary as all HELL ! Sorry for that but I don't even know how to word this. We give our kids space to deal with things. Typical teenage things like girlfriends/boyfriends breaking up with them, losing jobs, fighting with their best friends, being picked on...we have all gone through it. We expect that everyone goes through it and will get through it. But what if they don't?

I know that I have good kids but I can't help but wonder and worry. It appears as though tonight I will be sitting down with my two oldest and making sure that they understand that relationships will come and go but you have your whole life to live for. You just never know what wonderful and amazing thing is around the corner. Life is too short as it is but we need to take the time to make the most of what we have and most importantly, tell those around us that we love them.

I apologize for the sad blog today but it really is the only thing on my mind today.