Larissa's 15th Birthday

Today is Larissa's 15th birthday. That is insane. It was 15 years ago that I gave birth to one of my many miracles. I can remember it almost like it was yesterday. I remember the long intense hours of labor and the first time I laid eyes on her. I remember thinking how small she was and how fragile she was. Well she is still small and fragile...to an extent. She was 4lb and 7ozs and she was about the size of a cabbage patch doll. So much so that we have her picture of her on Halloween in a cabbage patch doll carrier that one of the nurses had found. Wow...15 years ago. Where does the time go? I remember her first day of day care and her first day of dance. I remember her first day playing soccar and baseball...sports are still not her thing. I remember her first day of kindergarten and then middle school and then high school. I remember the long wait to bring her home from the hospital. The daily trips to the hospital. I also remember the phonecall letting us know that she would be coming home that day. So many memories, so much time and it all seems like it was yesterday.

Today she celebrates her 15th birthday but I celebrate 15 years (and counting) of being blessed with an amazing daughter. A daughter that sometimes blows me away with the way she handles life. Seeing her develop into a young lady has really blown my mind. Don't get me wrong, she is a teenager. She yells, pouts, rolls her eyes and pissed me off daily. She makes mistakes and bad choices just like any other teen too. But her choices in friends, the way that she treats them, her choices in boys and the way that she expects to be treated is just incredible. She just knows things that it takes years for grown woman to learn. Maybe she has learned a few things from her old mother after all. I mean, the only reason I know so much is from learning from my mistakes. I have made many mistakes in my life and the knowledge that comes with getting myself back up and on track is just overwhelming. I try to share all of my learning experiences (that are appropriate) with my daughter but usually just assume that it is going in one ear and out the other. Her actions tell me otherwise though and maybe some of it does sink in though.

So I will enjoy today and know that she is growning and will one day have a life of her own. I worry about the choices she makes about her future, maybe that she isn't taking it seriously enough, maybe that she doesn't understand the responsibility that comes with growing up. Then I look back at me at that age and realize that I had no idea of any of that either. I did grow up though, I did work and get my own place. I learned responsibility. I think that I turned out pretty good if I can say so myself so I will have the same faith in her. A 15 year old beautiful sophomore in high school. I look at her and think that I had to have done a good job raising her. I dread her no longer needing me one day but I know that she will always be my little girl and I will always be her mother.

Thank you God for an amazing daughter.