So I have thought long and hard about what I want to do and what I want to change this year. From all the blogs that I read and follow, I have stumbled upon a simple yet complex resolution that is so easy to remember because its only one word. That's it. It's that simple. It's just one word. You pick one word that incorportates the main thing you want the year to be about. One reader even printed down the word and framed it as a constant reminder.
When I first started to think about this one word resolution, i couldn't decide on one word that really did it for me. My first thought was PEACE. I mean seriously with three kids, that is one thing that I I don't get a lot of but the more I thougt about it, the less it actually meant anything to me. I imagined the house with peace. I imagined my house with no yelling, no arguing, no debating, no confrentation...just peace and quiet. Wait ! This is so NOT what I want. We will have that when the kids are grown and out of the house. I don't really want all that now. And yes, I do realize that I went the extreme with the word but I want the word to really embody me throughout the year.
I continued to think about words and how they would effect my life. I thought about the word "ME". Working on me would make everyone happier but I don't want the year to be about me. I thought about "SLOW DOWN" because honestly 2010 went by way to quickly. So many words crossed my mind. Then I thought about what I wanted and it came to me...."Relationships"!
I want 2011 to about "RELATIONSHIPS". I want to work on the realationships in my life with the people that I really care about. So here is what I had in mind:
* GOD...I want to first and foremost work on my relationship with GOD. I attempted to make my relationship stronger in 2010 but I have to admit that although my attempt was valid, I did not get to where I wanted to be.
* MYSELF...I want to work on the relationship with myself. Like each year, I sit and think about how much I have let myself go. I always look forward to dressing up more, doing something different to my hair...making my physical appearance better so that I can feel better about myself. But I also need to work on my inner self. The part that knows that I am worth it. The part that understands that even though I might not dress up all the time, that I am still beautiful. There are so many things that I just want to work on. I want to really think about what it is that I want to be when I grow up. What do I see myself doing and what do I need to do to get there. Where do I see myself in 5 years and then making a plan.
*JOSE...of course he is in here. Don't you all get in a tizzy. We do not have any major problems in our relationship but what relationship can't use some work and some spice. The truth is that I have watched many relationships come to an end this past year and it scares me that it can happen to anyone. It is never a bad idea to keep your relationship new and fresh and never take it for granted.
* MY KIDS...I want to work on the relationships with my kids. I have three kids and have a different relationship with each of them. They are different people and react to things differently.
* Larissa is 16 and her teen attitude sometimes makes my head spin. This results from both of us since we are so much alike. I want our mother/daughter relationship to be solid. In two years, she will be 18 and the chance of working on our relationship becomes smaller. She will feel like she can do it all herself (I know because I was the same way) and her life will be all about her and probably really busy...without me. So I want to strengthen it as much as I can now.
* Nathan will be 13 in April. How tie flies. He is not yet a teen but I am definately seeing some teen attitude already. He is such a good kid with such a great heart but he seems to have lost his way. I want to work on our mother/son relationship but I also want to work on my teacher responsibilites with him. It is my responsiblity to teach him after all. I need to teach him to get organized so that his life can be a little less caotic with his ADHD. I need to teach him to have a better relationship at this age wtih his siblings, with Jose and with all those around him.
* CJ is only 4. Our relationship at this age is pretty simple but it can always use work. During the week, I sometimes feel overwhelmed with work and the family that I forget to make the time for him that he needs and wants. The simple one on one playtime that he should get. Timet that will allow me to see the little person that he is turning into. The little person that will be starting school in August and getting so much influence from the outside world that I can shelter him from. All I can do is teach him now to be a good person and believe in who he is.
* FAMILY...I struggle with this word because I feel like outside my home I don't know who family really is. I feel as though my REAL family has all abandoned me but I know that I did what I had to do. I also know that true family has nothing to do with blood. FAMILY in this case refers to my adopted families. The people who accept me for who I am. The people who are just a phonecall away...day or night. The people that have seen laugh and cry. The people who I call FAMILY...and you know who you are. I want to keep the relationships with my family close. I want to keep them strong and I want all those that are many miles away that no matter how far you are...you are always in my heart. It is easy to allow so much time to go by with our busy lives but I want to work on better communication this year so that I don't feel so far away from everyone. This especially included my godchildren. I don't feel that I have really been there for them the past year the way that I wanted to be. I have not been in their lives as much as I would have liked and that I will need to work on as well.
* FRIENDS...Friends and Family go together in this situation. I have a hard time drawing the line sometinems but in this particular situation I am referring to new friendships. I have made some great friends in the past year that I want to continue to work on our relationships. A relationship only deveops over time and you have to really let someone in for that to work. There are very few people here in NC that know who I really am and what I am all about. Not because I don't let them in but because they just don't know everything that I have been through...again, this a process that takes time. What better time than a year...lol !
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